<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Supermoon (or Bella Tries on a Backbone) by Eonya</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428874">Supermoon (or Bella Tries on a Backbone)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eonya/pseuds/Eonya'>Eonya</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Lemon, Romance, Sexual Content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:07:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428874</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eonya/pseuds/Eonya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I loved Edward–desperately, completely–I wanted nothing more than to share eternity with him–but I couldn't take another rejection. Another validation of my worst fears. I wasn't good enough for Edward...He was just endlessly patient in trying to get away from me." Bella finally does it, she breaks up with Edward before that disastrous birthday party! Canon, AU, New Moon setting.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Cullen/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>144</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Down the Driveway</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I imagine a story must be out there like this – exploring what it might have been like if Bella actually broke up with Edward over his constant foot-out-the-door mentality and refusal to change her – but I haven't found it yet! At least under the M category. If any of you know of it, please direct me there. I am still into old-school Twilight fanfic and love canon stories that explore their intense love story (especially when they actually live out their sexual tension…) so please direct me to any and all that you fancy. Thanks in advance!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"</p><p>The words came out in a whisper. "You know what I want."</p><p>A deep frown carved into his marble forehead. He obviously wished he'd stuck to the subject of Rosalie.</p><p>It felt like we'd has this argument a lot today.</p><p>"Not tonight, Bella. Please."</p><p>"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want."</p><p>Edward growled – a deep, menacing sound. "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella," he vowed.</p><p>"That's not fair!"</p><p>I thought I heard his teeth clench together.</p><p>We were pulling up to the house now.</p><p>It might have been the ostentatious pink roses lining the stairs to the front door–signaling to me what horrors wait inside–or the mere fact alone so many people ignored my wishes for my birthday to be an unpretentious occasion–but I snapped.</p><p>I'd reached the end of the road with this back and forth.</p><p>Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "This is a party," he reminded me. "Try to be a good sport."</p><p>I looked at his face without meeting his eyes, my expression blank.</p><p>He frowned.</p><p>Really though, I knew what it was. What had made that delicate cord in me break. I loved Edward–desperately, completely–I wanted nothing more than to share eternity with him–but I couldn't take another rejection. Another validation of my worst fears. I wasn't good enough for Edward. And he knew it. He was just endlessly patient in trying to get away from me.</p><p>I also couldn't shake this gnawing, rising feeling in my throat that the second another accident occurred, another Bella klutz moment went awry, that he would be gone. He would somehow find a way to twist it onto himself, summon his infamous self-loathing, and leave me for my own good. A feeling only heightened by his open admiration of Romeo's suicide.</p><p>So I had to leave first.</p><p>I quickly snatched my truck keys from his hand before he could see my hands tremble. "I'm going home, Edward."</p><p>His frown deepened. "Bella, please. I apologize for all this." He waved a hand towards the house. "They are only excited to celebrate another birthday, celebrate you, us-…"</p><p>"No Edward," I bit my lip, trying and failing to hold back the sob in my voice. "We're done. You won't change me, you don't want forever with me. I'm going home and-…" I moved quickly past him, head down. His eyes had grown impossibly wide with shock–those stunning, dangerous eyes.</p><p>I scrambled into the cab, swallowing air quickly to beat back down the tears that threatened. I at least needed to make it down the driveway first.</p><p>Before I could shut the door, Edward was there, inhumanely fast. He held the door open, his eyes searching for mine. I kept my attention pointedly on his shoulder, tugged at the car door.</p><p>"Let me go, Edward." My voice was weak, but firmer than I could have hoped for.</p><p>"You're–you're not serious," he said, sounding thoroughly disbelieving.</p><p>I could understand why–anyone breaking up with Edward Cullen seemed like an impossibility.</p><p>A sob escaped at the thought, at "breaking up".</p><p>Edward extended a hand for my cheek – I shook my head fiercely, cringed away. He dropped his hand.</p><p>"It's what you want, isn't it?" I stated flatly.</p><p>Hide the hurt, Bella. Until the end of the driveway. Keep it together until then.</p><p>I continued, "What you've been hoping for? For me to go live with Renee in Jacksonville?"</p><p>Edward was stone still. Silent.</p><p>I nodded. "I won't leave Forks–Charlie–but I won't bother you again. You can pretend we'd never met if you want."</p><p>I released a shaky breath and yanked at the door again–Edward's hold loosened, but remained.</p><p>"Bella…" I couldn't read his tone. I might have been too afraid to. "Please, just…"</p><p>A flicker in my chest, my heart beat alive. Hope.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe–</em>
</p><p>He continued, "Just…not tonight. Please. We'll talk after the party."</p><p>I gasped–it was like a sword being shoved straight through my chest. A pain unlike any I could have envisioned before. Worse than Phoenix. His words pierced straight to my core.</p><p>
  <em>He doesn't love you.</em>
</p><p>I finally looked into his eyes, fearless in my anguish, and yelled, "Leave me alone! This is it!"</p><p>Edward flinched as if slapped–my words had the desired effect. He released the door and I slammed it shut, shoved the keys in the ignition, and swung around in the driveway.</p><p>I prayed he would chase after me. I prayed that he wouldn't dare.</p><p>I didn't make but a few feet down the driveway before bursting into body-wracking tears. My sobs almost animalistic. Pure in their agony. It felt as if I had just ripped my body–my soul–in half.</p><p>I somehow managed a glance in the rear-view mirror–Edward stood exactly in place, his arm still out from where he held the door.</p><p>Also, remarkably, Alice stood where my truck had just been. Her expression almost unreadable from my distance, but if I didn't know any better–with her head quirked, a small tilt to her lips–she seemed almost proud.</p><p>I whispered a "sorry" hoping she could hear it. I would feel bad eventually for ruining her party.</p><p>I drove almost blindly forward after that, tempted to pull to the side of the road and release these tears until my heart's content. But knowing that was unlikely tonight, I drove until I made it home.</p><p>That was as far as I could go though–I fell across the worn leather seat and cried. Cried until my eyes went dry, my lips numb, and I could pretend that there was no possible way I could cry again.</p><p>
  <em>He didn't even call for you to stop. Didn't follow.</em>
</p><p>I grit my teeth. Squeezed my eyes shut.</p><p>I was aware later, faintly, of Charlie's arms sweeping me up and carrying me into the house. He sounded anxious, fraught. I cracked an eye open, but my head was pointed to the trees.</p><p>I thought I spotted a flash of red–but dreams started quickly after that–it was hard to tell where the waking world ended and the dream plane began.</p><p>I asked for my dreams to be kinder than reality and–for once that day–I was granted a birthday wish. I dreamt of a hot sun, warm breezes, a relaxing day on the beach.</p><p>Edward–mercifully, achingly–nowhere to be found.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I do not plan for this to be a very long story, just enough to work out this imagined scenario, but let me know if there's anything you're hoping to see. I could surely make some things work (I like in-canon stuff though, so nothing too off the beaten track). I also feed off of reviews, so please and thank you for those!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Thinking Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we are at chapter two! Thank you for the reviews, they really are helpful in keeping me pointed in the right direction. Also for motivating me in getting these chapters out quickly. I expect to at least get one chapter out a day – I am as anxious to work out this narrative as any readers hopefully are. Actually more anxious to read this story from someone else, so again if anyone finds anything like it, please let me know!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I awoke blurry-eyed, eye boogers nearly sealing my eyes shut.</p><p>I must have cried some more during the night. Rolling over, I rubbed at the eye crust, trying to see the time.</p><p>I was almost late for getting ready for school.</p><p>Sitting up seemed like the logical next step. Quickly though my shoulders slumped forward, the weight of what I did last night seeming to physically drag on me.</p><p>I broke up with Edward…Edward Cullen. My soulmate. A Greek god come to life. How could I be so idiotic?</p><p>In a rush, the emotions that dulled in my sleep swept over me, rising from the pit of my stomach so absolutely all I could do was weep. I crossed my arms on my knees and buried my face in the artificial nest–crying, shaking.</p><p>Why wasn't Edward here when I woke up? Did he not visit me in the night? Would I have not sent him away if he did?</p><p>I realized only now how little I had thought this through. If I was going to continue down this path of "life sans Edward" I had to create boundaries. I had to be strong.</p><p>But I didn't want to be strong without Edward. The honest truth was that I did want to be with Edward. Always. Every moment. <em>Forever</em>.</p><p>And that was the catch.</p><p>He wasn't going to bend, not going to hear me out on being changed. He claimed we were equal partners, but so far–yesterday especially–he proved otherwise. It was his way or the highway. He was so deathly afraid of damning me to his way of life, of making sure I had a full <em>human</em> life, he was blind to the realities of his choice.</p><p>I would get old–and not only would it look bad–he would not age. How were we to stay together as I grew older and he stayed 17? How would that work with Charlie and Renee? Was he going to pretend we broke up when I hit 30 and hide out in my apartment all day? Was I going to have to pretend to be single for most of my human life?</p><p>And then there was the other point he refused to negotiate with me on altogether–sex. Did he really expect me to stay a virgin my entire human existence?</p><p>I shuddered at the thought.</p><p>That line of thinking helped me swing my legs over the bed, recover some. I felt stronger in my resolution, my decision. I hadn't thought it out–but it was logically sound. I wasn't wrong. Maybe a tad bit rash, but nowhere near unreasonable.</p><p>This is my showing Edward I get a say too. He'll either see that and come around, or–</p><p>I was doing so good, I decided not to go down that route just yet. That was plenty enough thinking for this morning.</p><p>I got up and got dressed.</p><p>When I opened the door to head to the bathroom, I was startled by Charlie standing in the hallway.</p><p>"Ah, hey Bells," Charlie murmured, looking a bit sheepish. I got the sense he had been waiting outside my door awhile.</p><p>"Hey, Dad," I murmured just the same. My cheeks darkening a deep red at remembering how he carried me to bed last night.</p><p>"So uh," he glanced at my swollen red eyes. "You and Edward break up?" It sounded more like a statement than question. He was just as uncomfortable as I was with personal talk.</p><p>It helped marginally. I shrugged. "Yeah."</p><p>I didn't miss the flash of delight that crossed his features before he returned to subdued, "Sorry to hear that–seriously," he added when I shot him a flat look. "Don't like seeing you like…like last night." His eyes hovered over mine.</p><p>I cringed, crossed my arms. This was torture.</p><p>He continued, "If you need to, you know, take mental health day from school and all, I'll understand."</p><p>My spirits brightened momentarily. Skipping school would help me avoid the next stages in my thinking about this break-up. No worrying if Edward would be there or not, what to do if he was or wasn't.</p><p>
  <em>You can't push it away for long though. Might as well rip the bandage off.</em>
</p><p>I sighed, shook my head. "Thanks, Dad. I'll take a rain check on the mental health day."</p><p>Charlie nodded, understanding, I think.</p><p>I finished my morning routine, trying to ignore the fluttering anxiety in my chest.</p><p>I climbed into my truck and made it to school right on time. I tried not to look at where Edward's car might be, tried to– foolishly–pretend like it didn't matter. Two steps towards Forks High School though and my eyes had raked over the whole lot.</p><p>He wasn't here.</p><p>I paused in my gait, clenching my textbook tight against my chest. The feeling was akin to when he first mentioned leaving me back in the hospital in Phoenix, practically aloof at the idea of us separating.</p><p>
  <em>Calm down, Bella. You expected this. Edward reacts in extremes. Probably just off with the Denali clan mulling over what I said.</em>
</p><p>The idea that he might never return would not enter my mind. I wouldn't allow it.</p><p>I started to feel people's stares, so slowly, measuredly, I moved one foot in front of the other.</p><p>I was somewhere between deciding to dash back to my truck to cry, to making a break for the bathroom to break down in tears, when Angela walked up beside me.</p><p>"Hey, Bella! No Edward today?" Her voice was conversational, but I detected a hint of wariness.</p><p>I must look haunted, I guessed. Still my mom's little open book.</p><p>I swallowed a thick breath and looked up. "Hey, Angela. Yeah, Edward, he's…somewhere."</p><p>Angela nodded solemnly. "How about you sit with me in class today?"</p><p>I'd never been more grateful for this sweet girl next to me. I managed a tiny smile. "Sounds great."</p><p>And so the day drug out and went by in a blur. There was a general unease from our group–especially at lunch when still no Cullens appeared at our table–and I felt like my heart might drop out of my chest.</p><p>Angela was my ever-vigilant shield though. The buffer between me and the nosy Forks High populace, replacing Edward at my side between classes, keeping my mind preoccupied with small talk, and even some girl-talk of her and Ben. I thought it might be hard to hear at a time like this, but they were just so pure and genuine, I listened easily with rapt attention. A human romance. A <em>normal</em> relationship. Very interesting to me now.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder if Ben bulldozes her desires with his own. Ignores her wishes when he thinks it's what's best for her. I bet they've already had sex.</em>
</p><p>I snorted, pushing my pencil deeper into my notebook as I took notes in English. Mike Newton across the aisle from me raised a brow, irritatingly pleased today.</p><p>Angela even so kindly walked me to my truck, the talk pleasant until we arrived.</p><p>I saw it coming, braced for it.</p><p>She smiled apologetically. "So you and Edward…over now, huh?"</p><p>I breathed out raggedly. Moved my head the tiniest bit. "I um–need a break. Need him to consider me more, better."</p><p>I surprised myself with the honesty I offered.</p><p>Angela seemed moved by it too. "I always figured Edward thought the world of you–thought of you as his world–but if that's the case, it looks like he needs some maturing to do. Ignoring your feelings is never okay in a relationship."</p><p>I gaped, blown away by her shrewd wisdom.</p><p>
  <em>So even Angela knows better…someone only 1/5</em>
  <em>th</em>
  <em> of Edward's age.</em>
</p><p>She held out her arms for a hug–I gratefully accepted. I resolved then to strengthen my friendship with Angela.</p><p>
  <em>Vampire life ahead of me or not, I have a lot to learn from this girl.</em>
</p><p>When we parted, she patted my arm. "Call me if you need–or even want–to talk. I'll see you tomorrow."</p><p>"Thank you," I said with raw emotion. Angela was too kind.</p><p>She walked to Ben's car with a wave and a smile. Ben also offered a wave from the distance. I waved to them both and unlocked my truck.</p><p>I turned over the engine, and almost missed the cream-colored envelope on my passenger seat as I looked over my shoulder to back out.</p><p>I froze.</p><p>On the front read "Bella" in that beautiful, old-timey script that was unmistakably Edward's.</p><p>My heart stuttered to a stop.</p><p>Edward had finally reached out. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I promise to get to sexiness soon, in some form or another. I mean it is rated M, come on. The best part of Twilight fanfiction is we are not as committed to this abstinence thing as Stephanie Meyer.</p><p>Also! Please go ahead and point out any proofreading or editing errors you catch. I don't have a beta reader so it would help in keeping that readability and suspension of disbelief in check.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Bath Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Already knocked another chapter out! I am re-reading New Moon now, so it is quite a bit of an inspiration on its own to get me to write. So anxious to experience a brighter version of that painful-ness. Reviews also help with motivation ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The white cream envelope with my name so beautifully scrawled across it sat so innocently–so foreboding–on the seat next to me.</p><p>I reached a hand out for it…and promptly slapped my palm flat on the seat.</p><p>
  <em>No!</em>
</p><p>I returned my hands to the steering wheel.</p><p>
  <em>If I read now in the parking lot, I'm sure to break down crying. Have to get home first.</em>
</p><p>Only on this day (of all days) would I finally, begrudgingly, concede my truck might be a tad too old and slow.</p><p>Ten minutes later, parked in the driveway, I jumped out of the cab, sprinted inside, and ran up the stairs to my room.</p><p>I dropped onto my bed, taking a deep breath as I held the envelope in my lap.</p><p>
  <em>What if he…</em>
</p><p>I shook my head. No speculating. Just read.</p><p>Still, I hesitated as I pulled up the carefully tucked-in flap, removing the expensive paper inside.</p><p>I began to read:</p><p>
  <strong>Bella,</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I love you.</strong>
</p><p>I sucked in a quick lungful of air. Why did he have to open with a doozy like that?</p><p>I continued through clouded vision:</p><p>
  <strong>I am still processing your words. Forgive me, I will be missing from school a while. Space is something I have heard is good for relationships at times.</strong>
</p><p>Depression rushed in at confirmation I would not see him anytime soon–although I'm not sure what I expected. Plus, this was a break-up, I wasn't supposed to want to see him.</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>
  <strong>I hope we can talk when I return, however.</strong>
</p><p><strong>Until then</strong>–<strong>stay safe. Please.</strong></p><p>
  <strong>Yours truly,</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Edward</strong>
</p><p>I was comforted that it wasn't as bad as I thought. About what I expected, really. As I read the words over and over again though, I frowned.</p><p>
  <em>What does he mean "good for relationships"? We're not in a relationship anymore. Did I not make that clear?</em>
</p><p>I narrowed my eyes.</p><p>On one side I was thrilled that he seemed to want to stay together, but on the other that was the exact problem. He was acting like he was the spokesperson of our relationship. Our <em>former</em> relationship.</p><p>Maybe I was reading too much into it, though. I would hear him out when he returned. But if I heard anything less than, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk-butt, I will change you when you're ready. I love you and want to be with you forever" I would not budge. We were either together for the long haul, or not together–period.</p><p>
  <em>Surely though he'll see sense. Even Angela gets it. It's what's fair. Surely…</em>
</p><p>The annoyance from his possible disregard of our break-up helped get me out of bed and towards prepping dinner for Charlie.</p><p>He came home just as the enchiladas were being removed from the oven.</p><p>"Hey, Bells," he greeted cautiously, I'm sure expecting the dam to break at any moment.</p><p>I lifted the pan of enchiladas as my greeting. "Come and get them while they're hot."</p><p>He happily obliged, and the rest of the evening carried on in semi-comfortable silence. I could feel the curiosity radiating off of him, but his desire to avoid upsetting me must have outweighed the temptation to ask. Something to be grateful for.</p><p>I finished up my night with an uncharacteristic bath, wanting to soak the aches away and let my mind fill with only thoughts of peace, and climbed into bed with that more or less accomplished.</p><p>Naturally, I then dreamt of Edward.</p><p>Mostly images of pulling out of his driveway, this time with him turning his back to me and laughing–elated to be free of me. Other times he outright chased my truck down and forced me into that party like I had never uttered a word about breaking up.</p><p>Each time I woke with a huff and rolled over, willing that serene, bright beach back from the night before.</p><p>Then, in a total 180, I dreamt of Edward in bath with me.</p><p>I was sure I stiffened in the waking world. These dreams used to scare me when Edward was in bed with me. I was mortified at the idea of getting all hot and bothered with a nose like his inches away. Of course it still happened, I couldn't control all my dreams, but he was usually the gentleman about it, never once commenting.</p><p>Expect for one time, when I awoke from a particularly involved dream, and Edward gave me a look like…</p><p>Well like the one his dream version was giving me now.</p><p>Dream Edward dragged a sponge up my back, and then across my naked collarbone–deliberately, tortuously. I groaned. Could he not tell where I really wanted his hands?</p><p>"Bella," he breathed into my ear, his cold lips barely touching the outer shell. "How could you leave me?"</p><p>I sighed–his hands moved up my arms and then into my hair, gently massaging.</p><p>"Don't you know who you belong to?" Dream Edward asked, moving to drag his hands up and down my outer thighs. My attempts to adjust my legs so his hands would go where I really wanted them were futile. He was too strong, too stubborn.</p><p>"Well?" He turned his eyes on me, over my shoulder, those dark-honey eyes smoldering, yearning to devour me just like they did that night he awoke me from a dream just like this one. Except in that dream his hands went where they were supposed to.</p><p>"Edward…" I whimpered. "I'm yours, but you're mine. Please just…"</p><p>He growled, and then kissed me. His lips moved roughly over mine, attempting to mark me, claim what was his.</p><p>Oddly, I resisted, not giving him what he wanted until he gave me what I needed.</p><p>He growled again, and then his hands were on my inner thighs, slipping further and further down until…</p><p>I gasped–yes! His fingers flittered over my heat, teasing my folds.</p><p>I relented to his kiss and he hummed, pleased, and he added pressure to my most sensitive area. The pressure and movements steadily, and deliciously, picking up pace as we kissed.</p><p>I was content, over the moon. This was usually the point where my dreams with him ended–I expected now due in large part to Real World Edward's interference.</p><p>So I was absolutely thrilled when Dream Edward's tongue pressed against the seam of my lips, asking for entrance.</p><p>I joyfully parted my lips for him and two things happened at once–Dream Edward's tongue pushed into my mouth and swirled expertly–exactly at the same time his finger pushed into my core and did the same.</p><p>I screamed as my hips jerked off the bed and I came–fully awake now.</p><p>
  <em>Oh…oh my god.</em>
</p><p>I might have been more embarrassed if I wasn't still riding the incredible waves of my first orgasm.</p><p>
  <em>I…I orgasmed. Orgasmed?</em>
</p><p>I reached down, touched my damp panties.</p><p>
  <em>Yes, orgasmed.</em>
</p><p>It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I understood utterly and completely in that instant what Renee was talking about when she said, "You'll know when you know!"</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god.</em>
</p><p>I wrapped my arms around myself, giddy, full feeling.</p><p>
  <em>So that was an orgasm.</em>
</p><p>My eyes darted to my nightstand–Renee had, through much laughter and assurances, ordered me a vibrator this summer after I explained to her Edward and I were "traditional" when it came to sex. Sensing my frustration, she claimed, was the only reason why she sent it. I was certain it was to humiliate me. I had quickly locked it away as soon as it arrived in the mail, praying Edward wouldn't sniff it out and give me the twenty questions.</p><p>Now I saw the brilliance of my mom's forethought.</p><p>I started to stretch a hand towards the nightstand drawer–and paused. I glanced towards my window.</p><p>I moved to it to make sure it was locked–it wasn't. I quickly locked it and pulled close the curtains, although they were partially see-through.</p><p>There was little way of knowing if Edward was out there or not. I couldn't even guess if he had been in my room while I slept.</p><p>And he knows where the spare key was in the eave over the front door…</p><p>I made a mental note to take it for safe-keeping tomorrow, as well as to buy proper black-out curtains.</p><p>For the first time since this break-up, I could see the bright side of our distance.</p><p>Renee did say it was wise for a woman to experiment with herself before becoming intimate with someone else. How else could you show your partner what you like if you didn't even know?</p><p>Not tonight though, I realized glumly. There could be a pair of eyes out there–eyes I wouldn't mind on me under different circumstances.</p><p>
  <em>Look at how quickly you've become a pervert after a single orgasm.</em>
</p><p>I chuckled lightly as I changed my panties and pants and crawled back into bed, half-hoping for a similar dream, half-requesting nothing so dramatic until the curtains were replaced.</p><p>The rest of the night was dreamless, but one of the most restful I had experienced in a long time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And there we go! Some sexiness. I am not very familiar with writing sexy scenes, so I am (as with anything) open to critique. Please be sure to review if you like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Cullen Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course there were no Cullens at lunch the next day either.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder what “missing from school a while” translates to. A few days? A week? A month?</em>
</p><p>I pushed a chicken nugget around my lunch tray, appetite lost.</p><p>Angela was once again acting as my shield today, this time in conjunction with Ben who sat across from me, but a particularly upbeat blonde boy was piercing through their defenses.</p><p>“Got any weekend plans, Bella?” Mike Newton asked, practically hovering over Ben’s lap to get my attention.</p><p>I grimaced. “Uh…”</p><p>“The movies!” Angela chipped in, giving me a wink. “Ben, Bella, and I were thinking of going to the movies.”</p><p>My angel sent from above. She was the true crème de la crème of friends.</p><p>Mike was only briefly set-back. “Sounds like you could use a fourth to round up to an even four–what do you say we make it a double date?”</p><p>I blinked. Did this boy have <em>any</em> shame?</p><p>I noticed Jessica stiffen across the table–clearly not completely over their recent break-up.</p><p>Thinking quickly, I offered, “Why not a group date in that case? Eric, Jessica, Lauren–up for a movie night?”</p><p>Jessica perked up some, Lauren looked partly disgusted, and Eric enthusiastically agreed. Some talk exchanged across the table and the movie date was set for Saturday evening.</p><p>Mike wasn’t nearly as excited as he was before, but he didn’t look down and out either. I hoped it was a worthy compromise. He had been a good friend all things considered, and I appreciated his family for giving me a job down at their sporting goods store.</p><p>Speaking of which, I had work after school, and was grateful for the distraction from my thoughts.</p><p>I was starting to feel the increasing time and distance from Edward, missing him more and more by the nanosecond. It felt almost like physical withdrawals–or my closest approximation of them.</p><p>
  <em>If he’d at least return to school where I could see him, let me know he’s still here…</em>
</p><p>Plus my dream last night still hovered on the periphery of my consciousness, teasing me with a naked and lust-filled Edward. I tried not to go there either though, afraid I might start to pant in public.</p><p>By the time I got home, dinner cooked, homework finished, and in bed–I had done a pretty thorough job of blocking the worst of my Edward thoughts from my mind.</p><p>But now under the covers, all alone, with still see-through curtains, I had nothing but time to think until my restless eyes finally fell shut.</p><p>
  <em>Well I got the spare key from outside at least, still need to get those black-out curtains though…</em>
</p><p>I stared longingly at my nightstand.</p><p><em>Those kinds of thoughts</em>–<em>dreams</em>–<em>of Edward wouldn’t be so bad right now. They’re pretty wonderful, actually. </em></p><p>I couldn’t risk it though, it’s almost like I <em>knew</em> he was out there. Watching me with those liquid gold eyes. Probably anxious, probably accusatory. He made me feel like such a deviant sometimes for wanting sex with him.</p><p>
  <em>I get the danger, but could we not discuss at least trying something? There are a lot of things before full on sex that would satisfy me…for a time anyways. </em>
</p><p>Without meaning to, I imagined Edward lying next to me, his hand running up and under my shirt, his fingers finding the skin of my breasts. He teased, chuckled softly, circled my nipples and then moved his hand back down, towards the waistband of my pajama pants…</p><p>I shivered and curled into a tight ball.</p><p>
  <em>Calm yourself Bella, just go to sleep.</em>
</p><p>While I had no dreams I could confidently recall, I awoke with a general feeling of frustration. The kind of frustration only that black piece of rubber in my nightstand could relieve.</p><p>
  <em>Or Edward…</em>
</p><p>I threw my clothes on and got ready for school in a huffy mood, even chomping down my cereal with undue force.</p><p>I was already resolved not to see any Cullens for the rest of the week–and accordingly depressed at the notion–when I opened the door to go outside and found none other than Alice waiting for me at the end of the porch steps.</p><p>I gasped and threw myself into her arms, overwhelmed with too many emotions to name.</p><p>“Alice!” I squealed, hugging her tightly.</p><p>She laughed, the sound more pleasant than my memory could ever do justice for. “Bella–I’m so glad you’re happy to see me. Good morning!”</p><p>She returned the hug and we parted. I stared up at her in awe. “What are you doing here? And of course I’m happy to see you!”</p><p>Alice smirked, flashing most of her intimidating white teeth, and gestured to Carlisle’s car behind her. “I’m here to drive you to school, silly. I thought it’d be a good way to catch up.”</p><p>I squinted at the car, trying to process the turn of events. “Is, um…?”</p><p>Alice shook her head, her smile wilting a bit. “He’s not here, I’m not sure when he’ll be back.”</p><p>I nodded. That’s all I needed to hear.</p><p>
  <em>Alice being here is proof enough he’s still out there, that he might be back.</em>
</p><p>Also, I naturally missed Alice too, it just had been overshadowed by Edward’s absence.</p><p>We climbed into Carlisle’s car and I quickly noticed in the backseat several presents wrapped in sleek silver wrapping.</p><p>I tensed, the guilt instantly flooding in. “Alice, I’m so sorr-…”</p><p>“Nonsense Bella!” Alice waved a hand. “Don’t you get to feeling guilty for one second, I heard everything from the house. I’m in agreement with your decision–it’s the main thing I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”</p><p>I froze. On one side I was happy for the support, but on the other…</p><p>
  <em>Does she not want me to be a part of their family after all?</em>
</p><p>Alice took a hand from the wheel to place it on my knee, rubbing it in a soothing circle. “Don’t get me wrong Bella, I’m still 100% for you and Edward.”</p><p>I relaxed. She smiled. “I’m just also 100% for Edward getting out of his own way.”</p><p>A laugh bubbled out of me.</p><p>
  <em>God, don’t I want that too. </em>
</p><p>“That’s part of why I broke up with him,” I whispered, not sure why. “I can’t handle much more of his self-loathing. It hurts me too.”</p><p>Alice threw her hands up. “Exactly! That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to tell him.”</p><p>I sighed contently–her validation of my feelings was healing.</p><p>She continued, “He–like so many others–has gotten so convinced of his worst fears that it’s made him self-absorbed. He can’t see the forest for the trees. If only he’d take a step back from himself, he might notice how great for you he actually is. Sure, there’s some dangers with being associated with vampires, but there’s a lot of security in it too. Like, for example, if not for his vampiric nature, you would have been crushed by Tyler’s van all those months ago and there be no Bella’s humanity on the table to argue over to begin with.”</p><p>“Exactly!” I exclaimed, mimicking Alice to a tee with my own hands flying up.</p><p>She and I broke out into a fit of giggles.</p><p>She patted my knee again. “So this break you two are taking, I think it’s good. Good for Edward. My thick-headed brother needed reminding at what he’s at stake of losing should he follow through with his darkest thoughts.”</p><p>I eased back against the passenger seat, feeling a well of calm fall over me. It was so nice to be with Alice again.</p><p>The rest of the day went much better than I could have hoped for, it was almost night and day to that first morning sans Edward.</p><p>Now Alice joined Angela in walking me to class, the three of us exchanging talk over the weather, classes, and clothes. Alice clearly appreciated Angela’s more willingness to discuss fashion than myself, letting me off the hook for the parts that made my eyes glaze over.</p><p>Edward was still on my mind of course, but I felt better about it. Stronger. More resolute.</p><p><em>Alice is on my side, she gets it. Edward is so self-involved he’s neglecting my input. Outright shoving it to the side. If he wants me to have a human life so badly</em>–<em>fine.</em> <em>More than one of us can play this stubborn game.</em></p><p>Even as I started to craft diabolical plans, I hoped it wouldn’t come to that. I was still praying that Edward would see the light and agree I was to be changed one day.</p><p>Alice drove me home and had me open one of the presents in the back–it was empty.</p><p>“It’s a new stereo for your truck!” she sing-songed excitedly. “Emmett installed it while we were at school.”</p><p>I smiled, thanked her, and asked her to pass along my gratitude to Emmett and Rosalie.</p><p>I started to reach for the next present when she pressed a hand over mine, keeping me from it. Her eyes looking a million miles away.</p><p>“How about…” she murmured. “We save the rest of the presents for now. That one is Carlisle’s and Esme’s, they’d like to see you open it in person.”</p><p>I quirked a brow, secretly desperate to ask what she saw in my future, but resisting the urge in the name of being unyielding in my current path.</p><p>I just bobbed my head and we said our good-byes. The next day started much the same as today, with Alice picking me up and sharing light, pleasant talk with Angela and me throughout the day.</p><p>I didn’t even expect Edward at school now, but still was disappointed when he didn’t appear at lunch.</p><p>
  <em>We’re broken up, you don’t want to see him Bella. Remember that.</em>
</p><p>I slung my backpack over my shoulder and hurried out of my last class, planning to meet Alice at Carlisle’s car since her last period was across campus from mine.</p><p>I was just down the steps of the school when my whole world froze, my heart stopping in my chest as my eyes fell on him.</p><p>Leaning against his car not even 10 feet away from where I stood was the definition of male beauty and boyish charm–one Mr. Edward Cullen.</p><p>He smiled that devastatingly disarming crooked smile of his, my favorite smile, and beckoned me to him.</p><p>I could barely remember my own name.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And here we are with a new chapter! I've got a question I would love an answer to – do any of you think the summary of this story matches well enough with what's inside? As someone who likes fanfiction to stay in canon and in character (most of the time), I hope I am signaling that to potential readers. Any suggestions or advice on a stronger summary or title would be very welcomed!</p><p>Also I'm relatively new to Archive, so if there's anything I'm goofing on - not putting in the right tags or what not - I would love some guidance!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I decided to concentrate on getting my heart to restart, taking in deep breaths.</p><p>
  <em>He's…here. Edward.</em>
</p><p>Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes–I couldn't help it. I'd missed him so much.</p><p>I fought it as long as I could, putting one foot in front of the other, but then his smile softened and I was sprinting. I threw myself into his arms, hugging his unyielding chest, in heaven when he returned the hug just as tight.</p><p>"Bella…" he breathed into my hair. "I missed you <em>so</em> much."</p><p>I sniffled against his shirt, trying to enjoy the simple pleasure of his cool embrace around me.</p><p>Then, from my periphery, I spotted Alice across the lot, her eyes wide and questioning as she approached.</p><p>I sighed–the bubble burst.</p><p>Very reluctantly, I pulled back from Edward. To my surprise, he resisted, trying to gently pull me back against his chest.</p><p>I shook my head though, placing my hands flat against his torso, breaking free from his hold.</p><p>I took a few steps back, putting distance between us, and crossed my arms.</p><p>Back to reality.</p><p>Edward frowned and lowered his arms, but he looked ready to pull me back into a hug at any moment–the realization alone almost made me crumble.</p><p>
  <em>This is about fairness, establishing a stronger relationship than before. This is what's right. Don't fold now.</em>
</p><p>Alice reached us then, appraising me first, then tilting her head up at Edward.</p><p>"Made a last-minute decision, I see," she said, tone disapproving.</p><p>Edward shrugged, but never took his eyes off me. They bore into my own–him wishing he could read my mind again I imagined–but the expression was too hard to read. He seemed…anxious? But in a way I hadn't seen before.</p><p>"Bella," he said softly. "May I give you a ride home?"</p><p>My shoulders stiffened.</p><p>
  <em>May he? I don't know…If I'm alone with him, will I crack?</em>
</p><p>I gave him a onceover–regretting it instantly.</p><p>
  <em>Why does he have to be so gorgeous? Smell so incredible?</em>
</p><p>Everything about his existence was supposed to draw me in–and it certainly was doing the trick now.</p><p>"Talking would be a good idea," Alice said, a finger placed thoughtfully on her chin. "Just remember…"</p><p>Alice's eyes locked onto mine. "Edward is no longer your boyfriend. He has new, <em>wider</em> boundaries to respect. And if Edward does anything to anger or upset you–hold onto that."</p><p>Edward scoffed. Alice shot him a pointed look.</p><p>I nodded slowly, pretty certain I understood her meaning.</p><p>
  <em>Anger has helped me resist Edward before.</em>
</p><p>I looked up at Edward, but avoided his direct gaze. "Yes, you may drive me home. We do need to talk."</p><p>He sighed, relieved, and moved to open the passenger door of the Volvo.</p><p>As I went to sit down, I caught Edward frowning at Alice's back, a very similar frown to the one he gave me when he wanted a window into my thoughts.</p><p>Edward joined me in the car and the silence was heavy.</p><p>He kept looking like he was about to say something, but then he would sigh and adjust his grip on the steering wheel more securely.</p><p>As for me, I wasn't sure what to expect. I tried to concentrate on what needed to be said, but while trapped in the car with him and his delicious scent, a normal working thought process wasn't in the cards.</p><p>Mercifully, we arrived at Charlie's, and I jumped out of the car as soon as Edward put it in park.</p><p>Edward was there as soon as I straightened up, undoubtedly using his vampire speed.</p><p>"Where to?" he asked, his voice and expression still giving that weirdly nervous vibe.</p><p>I looked to the trail in the woods beside my house and nodded at it.</p><p>Edward and I started the short walk there, each of us stealing peeks at one another, my hand itching to reach out for his.</p><p>
  <em>No, focus Bella. Be strong.</em>
</p><p>We walked a few feet down the trail before stopping and facing each other. I took note then of Edward's matching crossed arms.</p><p>
  <em>Did he feel the same urge to touch me? Just like that time in Biology during the movie?</em>
</p><p>I inhaled a deep breath and gestured at Edward, willing him to start.</p><p>He nodded, closed his eyes. "I can't apologize enough Bella, I understand now how insensitive I've been to your feelings."</p><p>My knees felt weak. It was a struggle to keep standing.</p><p>
  <em>He gets it! He understands! We can finall–!</em>
</p><p>"But I expect this time a part has let you see more of my side too," he continued.</p><p>I instantly frowned–the feelings of elation grinding to a halt.</p><p>"What do you mean?" I asked, lips pursed.</p><p>"I see now how frustrating it must have been to deal with my constant fears, my…anxiety," Edward explained. "I presume it's left you feeling like I don't want to spend eternity with you–when in reality that is exactly what I want."</p><p>I internally rejoiced, feeling the sincerity of his words through his earnest tone, but carefully kept my face neutral.</p><p>"But now that you've had this time to think of our relationship," Edward's arms loosened, "you must realize how incredibly selfish that is of me to desire. You're human, capable of experiencing so much more of life than a vampire could ever dream. Have children, grandchildren, walk under the sun without fear…being with me even as a human takes so much of that away from you, but turning you for my own selfish wishes would take it all."</p><p>I blinked. Blinked again.</p><p>
  <em>Am I…hearing right?</em>
</p><p>Edward took a step forward and very tentatively took my hands in his–interpreting my dumbfounded look oh-so-very incorrectly.</p><p>He continued, "I'll be more assertive from now on with the reasons behind what I say and do. I won't leave you guessing anymore. To get started, the reason I didn't argue with you the other night on changing you into this–" Edward gestured to himself, a look of disgust on his face, "–<em>creature </em>is not because I don't love you, but because I love you <em>too much</em>. So very much."</p><p>He placed a gentle kiss to my forehead. "And it pains me beyond belief to imagine your life being stolen away by my own hands."</p><p>I tensed, not sure how to react–angrily, or incredibly angrily.</p><p>I ripped my hands from Edward's and took several shaky steps back. "Edward–<em>are you kidding me</em>? This week a part and all you came up with was that I just need to be okay <em>with what you were already doing</em>?"</p><p>Edward's eyes grew wide. I hoped for his sake realizing his mistake.</p><p>"You –you are just –!" I shouted, then took a long, deep breath before continuing, "Stupid, okay? Everything you said–just totally stupid. Yes, I'm annoyed that you don't share your thought process sometimes, but the real problem is your not <em>listening</em> to me, not <em>valuing my input</em> as your supposed equal partner in this relationship. In fact, it feels like in this relationship first comes Edward, then Edward's self-loathing, then <em>maybe</em> Bella."</p><p>Edward winced at my words, especially the last part, and then his face went blank. I knew it did that sometimes when I said something he didn't have an immediate answer for.</p><p>Since he decided to become statue-Edward, and I was still raring to go, I added, "You're trying to trap me in this insane middle ground where you get to pretend are lives are anything but totally intertwined now. If something bad happens to me–even vampire related–that's not on you. Our lives have collided together, all lives have conflict, the fact that our conflicts are extra special is only because <em>we</em> are special."</p><p>Edward thawed some at that, but had no other reaction.</p><p>I crossed my arms again.</p><p>
  <em>Well?</em>
</p><p>Minutes passed, then finally Edward whispered, "Did Alice share a vision with you?"</p><p>My eyebrows shot up, thrown off guard by the change in topic. "Um, no. Why?"</p><p>Edward lowered his gaze. "She's been hiding something from me, some vision…right after you left our home, she saw something. What might have been, I think, if you had joined in on your party."</p><p>I recalled suddenly the feeling deep in my gut that something was going to go wrong that night, something terrible and irreversible.</p><p>
  <em>I'll have to ask Alice about it later. Maybe she'll tell me.</em>
</p><p>Edward tried to step closer, but I raised a hand. He was close enough.</p><p>
  <em>I can't get pulled into his beauty and smell again, not when we're still arguing.</em>
</p><p>Edward sighed, groaned, combed a hand through his hair and let his head fall back. "Bella…I can't change you, I just can't. I'd be damning your soul for all eternity."</p><p>I blinked, plain confused now.</p><p>
  <em>Does he think vampires don't have souls…?</em>
</p><p>"Edward, what do you mean? Of course you have a soul. You all do. How can you look at Carlisle and think otherwise?"</p><p>Edward didn't move, only wrinkled his nose.</p><p>We stood like that a while, neither of us offering anything more. The line was being drawn between us– thick and opaque.</p><p>I was the first to relent. "Edward…here's the deal. Either you agree to change me and we can be together, or you can refuse, we stay a part, and you can live with all the human consequences of that decision."</p><p>Edward's head snapped back up, his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by 'human consequences'?"</p><p>I almost smirked–he was so perceptive. But the feeling died before it even reached my lips. The diabolical plans I spun earlier were only made in desperation. I didn't really want to go through with them. I wanted to be with Edward.</p><p>
  <em>But he's forcing my hand…</em>
</p><p>"If you put your mind to it, I'm sure you'll figure it out," I taunted unabashedly.</p><p>Edward raised a brow. "Playing games, Bella? That doesn't sound like you."</p><p>I lifted a shoulder. "You like to play games with me. I'm just matching tit for tat."</p><p>Edward's look darkened, but I got the feeling it wasn't for me.</p><p>
  <em>Not very fun having your faults being pointed out for once, huh?</em>
</p><p>I turned on my heel, miserable at the conclusion of our talk, but not honestly expecting anything different.</p><p>
  <em>Edward's so stubborn. In all these six months together, he's rarely compromised his stances, much less given in to me. He needs more time.</em>
</p><p>Before I could even take a step though I was swiftly spun around and my back pushed into a large tree–Edward's hands on either side of my head, caging me in.</p><p>I usually hated how my heart reacted to his proximity, but now so more than ever. If I had a weak heart or was elderly, I would be worried I was having a heart attack.</p><p>"Edward…" I exhaled, barely able to breath with his eyes burning into me like they were. He drew even closer, letting his breath wash over my face. It became hard to think. "What…what is this?"</p><p>He smiled that crooked smile, wanting me to faint I was sure. "I want to negotiate your terms."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Negotiations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I tried to toss my thoughts to anything other than the dirty implications that currently ran through my head–an impossibility with Edward being so uncharacteristically forward.</p><p>"W-what terms?" I stammered out, gritting my teeth when his scent filled my lungs again.</p><p>Edward's warm topaz eyes danced with mischievousness. I wonder if this position was doing something for him too.</p><p>He flexed his hands against the bark on either side of my head. "While I consider what you've asked of me today, I would like to remain friends. Pick you up for school, sit with you at lunch, have the occasional study date–the works."</p><p>I closed my eyes to find some reprieve from his enticing face. It helped a bit. "I don't think we can be broken up and be friends, Edward. Not in this kind of situation. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Acquaintances, then?" I could hear the frown in his voice. "At least share the same table at lunch. Attend the same group events."</p><p>I shook my head, eyes still closed. "No, a break-up means–"</p><p>I gasped, my eyes flying open–Edward's lips were on my collarbone, slowly tracing along it.</p><p>"Edward!" I tried to sound reproachful, but it turned into a moan as his lips ventured up my throat and along the side of my neck.</p><p>
  <em>Crap crap crap! I didn't plan for psychological warfare! This…seduction ploy.</em>
</p><p>He kissed lightly just under my ear. "A break-up means whatever we want it to mean."</p><p>I was breathless, unable to form a single thought as his lips found my cheek, my forehead, my nose, my other cheek, and finally the corner of my lips.</p><p>"For instance, I want it to mean I can still sit with you at lunch. Talk to you. And neither of us engage in another relationship for at least a month."</p><p>He pulled back then and leveled his gaze with mine, freeing me of the assault of his glorious lips. He wanted an answer.</p><p>I had to think hard to remember what he just said.</p><p>
  <em>Neither of us engage in another relationship, huh?</em>
</p><p>I smirked. He was getting close to my own planned ploys. I looked coolly back into his insistent eyes. "You're the one who wants me to have every human experience, Edward…I don't agree to those terms."</p><p>His look hardened. "Have a date planned with Mike Newton already then?"</p><p>"I do actually," I shot back, grinning. "A movie date tomorrow."</p><p>Edward's eyebrows shot up–stunned, caught off guard. Clearly that was the last thing he was expecting to hear.</p><p>
  <em>You're not the only one who can play head games.</em>
</p><p>He looked like he was about to say something, but then he did the last thing I expected–he kissed me.</p><p>I inhaled sharply, thinking I should be furious that my ex was kissing me without permission, but too caught up on his lips pushing roughly, possessively over mine to care.</p><p>I returned his fervor, gripping his hair in fistfuls and pulling myself as close to him as possible.</p><p>He groaned against my mouth, gripped my hips, and pushed me firmly back against the tree–but compromised by holding his torso flat against mine.</p><p>
  <em>Yes yes yes!</em>
</p><p>I was pathetic. My body was not at all on board with this break-up like the rest of me was. In fact, it actively thought I was being an idiot.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe if he made love to me here and now, I'd be more open to negotiations…</em>
</p><p>Edward yanked his head back first, breathing heavily, though remained flush against me. "You just love to test my control, Bella. Only on this night am I grateful for it."</p><p>His eyes captured mine once more – searching, burning, seeking to swallow me up whole. "Tomorrow is a group date. Mike will just happen to be there with the rest of the group."</p><p>I scowled. "Who told you? Alice?"</p><p>He smiled wickedly. "No, you just did."</p><p>I mentally smacked myself across the forehead. I fell for the oldest trick in the book.</p><p>
  <em>Such a tricky, sneaky vampire…</em>
</p><p>He pressed his lips lightly against the pulse point on my neck, whispering against my skin, "I would like to request that you didn't sit next to the Newton boy, though. However innocent this date might be, his runaway thoughts will be irritating."</p><p>Something about his statement made fury rise in my chest.</p><p>He was manipulating me–pure and simple. Shamelessly weaponizing his beauty against me in this fight.</p><p>"You don't get to make requests like that of me Edward," I said, removing my hands from his hair to push against his chest. "We're broken up. I will do whatever I like. Sit by whoever I<em> want</em>."</p><p>Edward froze against me, the emphasis having the desired effect on him…I hoped.</p><p>
  <em>This is what he's asking for by insisting on me living a human life. I don't know what else he expecte-</em>
</p><p>I yelped, gripped with an intense pleasure as Edward's lips on my neck started to suck.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god!</em>
</p><p>Edward had yet to try anything this risky, my brain didn't even know how to process.</p><p>
  <em>If he can do this safely on my neck, I wonder…</em>
</p><p>The space between my legs grew suddenly very hot.</p><p>His tongue darted out, licking the hickey he had surely left, trailed up my neck, along my jaw, and landed at the spot next to my mouth. "Like I said–no sitting next to Mike Newton."</p><p>I moaned. His tongue was tracing my lips now. "But what if," I had to pause to steady the wavering in my voice, "that's what I want?"</p><p>Edward growled–growled! Tangled a hand in my hair and tilted my head up at his. "Tell me who you want right now Bella," he demanded, his liquid gold eyes all consuming.</p><p>I whimpered. I should lie, I realized. But the best I could do was reply truthfully, "You."</p><p>His lips descended on mine. I didn't stand a chance.</p><p>His tongue teased my bottom lip before–unbelievably –wondrously–thrusting into my mouth.</p><p>I cried out but didn't move a muscle. I let Edward explore my mouth, tangling my tongue with his there, knowing it would be far too dangerous to risk coming near his teeth.</p><p>The pressure, the heat, grew exponentially below. My mind flew instantly to my dream where I pictured this exact action, as well as his fingers…</p><p>I bucked involuntarily against Edward.</p><p>He went completely still. Released my mouth and pulled back.</p><p>I was mortified. I waited for the scolding that was sure to come.</p><p>Instead Edward just stared at my face, his expression contemplative. His eyes darted down <em>there</em> and back to my face in such a swift motion I might have missed it if I blinked.</p><p>I took his hesitation–and my own embarrassment as fuel –to untangle from his hold and put space between us.</p><p>It was the last thing I really wanted to do, but I had to.</p><p>"Edward," I said in strangled voice, the hormones still pumping painfully through my veins, "You know where I stand. Sit wherever you want, talk about whatever, go to whatever events…just give me <em>space</em>. Don't touch me again until I give permission. That's the big one. Because if you do," I grimaced, "then there really will be no hope for us."</p><p>Edward flinched. In a perverse way I was glad to see his face twist in anguish.</p><p>At least now he was hearing me.</p><p>I turned and hurried inside before he could say anything else, afraid my resolve would deteriorate the second his arms reached out to me again.</p><p>
  <em>That kiss though…that kiss!</em>
</p><p>I wasn't going to be able to resist another night without experiencing that seductive black piece of rubber in my nightstand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So the shortest chapter I've put up since the first one - sorry about that! This just seemed like the most natural stopping point. I hope it's alright things are going to get a bit more heated from now on...I also like some give and take, but I think it's time. We got enough of no action in the actual Twilight series to last a few lifetimes. </p><p>Also thank you finally for some comments!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Movie Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I lay in bed, waiting for Charlie's ball game to wrap up and finally go to sleep.</p><p>
  <em>Of course his game would go into overtime.</em>
</p><p>I stretched a hand across my bed, laying it atop my nightstand. My fingers tapped impatiently across the cool tabletop.</p><p>
  <em>Of all nights, really.</em>
</p><p>I'd had a few hours to process my talk with Edward. It left me feeing very painfully aroused, and very <em>very</em> peeved.</p><p>
  <em>It was almost like he wanted to do more, finally take our relationship to the next level…</em>
</p><p>Then his request popped into my head, "<em>no sitting next to Mike Newton</em>".</p><p>"Ugh!" I snorted and rolled over, my back to the nightstand.</p><p>
  <em>He just doesn't get it! He still believes his insane fears for my life and humanity give him permission to control me!</em>
</p><p>I grabbed a pillow and squeezed it hard against my chest.</p><p>
  <em>Then he starts manipulating me with his body! That was just…just…</em>
</p><p>There was no point in lying to myself–I loved and hated it.</p><p>
  <em>I'm attracted to him, everyone attracted to men are to Edward. But I'm trying to get a point across here.</em>
</p><p>He had exploited a loophole in this break-up–I hoped my no touching order would close it. As pushy as he was, I felt confident he wouldn't touch me again without permission. He was still a 1918 gentleman, after all.</p><p>
  <em>He got his attack in, tomorrow I'll execute mine.</em>
</p><p>I fell asleep soon after without noticing, apparently doomed to another day of unspent sexual energy.</p><p>–––</p><p>I was no sooner out of my truck cab when Mike was sprinting up to me in the theater parking lot, smiling and waving. "Hey Bella!"</p><p>He looked genuinely happy to see me. I felt a sudden twinge of guilt. "Hey, Mike. Is anyone else here yet?"</p><p>"Just about! I think we're just waiting on Ben." Mike's smile never faltered.</p><p>I nodded, working up my courage.</p><p>
  <em>It's fine, I'm just going to entertain him a little. He'll realize I'm nothing special soon enough.</em>
</p><p>"So, uh, Mike," I said, trying to smile. "Do you want to share a popcorn during the movie?"</p><p>Mike's eyes instantly lit up. He knew exactly what that meant–let's sit together.</p><p>"Y-yes!" he replied hastily. "Sounds great! Want me to get your ticket too?"</p><p>I swiftly pulled the $10 from my pocket I had prepared for just this scenario and pushed it into his hand. "Yes, thank you."</p><p>He only seemed mildly let down I wasn't letting him pay for me before he was off, dutifully making a beeline for the ticket counter.</p><p>I released a sigh. My plan was simple–keep Mike interested. Of all the ridiculous reasons Edward felt that I needed to stay human, the most irritating was that he was convinced by changing me he would be stealing away my chance to have children.</p><p>Did he not realize none of that mattered since we fell in love? It was little different than falling for a human and realizing he was sterile. It was a closed book. I wasn't <em>interested</em> in children with anyone else, having a human boyfriend either. Edward was all I wanted, all I would ever need.</p><p>
  <em>But if he really wants to see what I look like with a human "boyfriend" then fine. He can have it his way.</em>
</p><p>I figured I would plant the seed today by sharing a popcorn with Mike, so that by Monday, Edward could see us cozying up together at lunch.</p><p>And that was about the extent of my plan.</p><p>
  <em>Hopefully-</em>
</p><p>I lost my train of thought when I approached the ticket counter outside and noticed Alice standing and talking with Angela. Jessica, Lauren, Conner, and Eric also stood nearby, waiting in line. I had forgotten Alice had been invited yesterday to the movie date. Or perhaps it was better to say I didn't expect her to come.</p><p>
  <em>She must be bored.</em>
</p><p>She seemed her usual chipper self as the talked to Angela until I approached.</p><p>She shot me a tense look then and politely excused herself from Angela, pulling me to the side, out of earshot.</p><p>"What's up Alice?" I asked, curious.</p><p>She sighed. "I'm sorry about this Bella, I know how difficult Edward is being. And he's about to make it much more so…"</p><p>I frowned, not following until a car pulled up–</p><p>"No!" I gasped.</p><p>Ben pulled up in his black Dodge Neon, carrying none other than Edward Cullen in the front seat.</p><p>Edward winked at me as he exited the car.</p><p>"What is he doing here!" I whisper-shrieked at Alice.</p><p>Alice rubbed at her temples. "Apparently he 'ran' into Ben as he was getting off of work, chatted him up about guy things–cars and such–then got himself invited to tonight."</p><p>I groaned.</p><p>Sometimes I forgot about vampire's and their super brains. Edward <em>would</em> be a few steps ahead of me, probably hundreds of steps.</p><p>
  <em>I have to play dirty.</em>
</p><p>I turned my back to Edward, ignoring his low chuckle as he strolled towards us beside Ben, and marched right up to Mike.</p><p>He'd just finished purchasing our tickets. "Here you are Bella," he handed me my ticket, "Ready to get popcorn?"</p><p>"Very," I said, hooking my arm with his.</p><p>I could feel the shock run through the group behind us–I didn't dare to glance back.</p><p>Mike was similarly shocked, then a smile broke out across his face. "Well let's go then!"</p><p>He held my arm more snuggly in his and ushered us inside.</p><p>I felt a wash of guilt towards Edward–unjustified I know–but still there.</p><p>Mike must have been so exuberant at my bold move he didn't notice Edward had joined our crowd until we were walking into the movie theater.</p><p>"Who invited Cullen?" Mike asked, not bothering to hide his disdain for him from me now.</p><p>"Ben," I sighed, plain unhappy.</p><p>My tone seemed to pep Mike back up. "Well forget him, let's just enjoy the movie."</p><p>I nodded solemnly.</p><p>There was trouble though in arranging seating, some kind of hold up, discord among the group of who should sit where with the few seats remaining. Apparently, Jessica was absolutely refusing to sit by Eric suddenly, Lauren had to be sat on Jessica's left side but also beside Conner…</p><p>If I had been paying better attention, I might have caught Edward's sly smile.</p><p>Finally, we started to sit down, Mike sat on my left, and a free aisle seat was on my right.</p><p>Until Edward promptly filled it.</p><p>I spun towards him, shaking my head furiously. "No! No–switch with Alice."</p><p>Edward blinked innocently. "But I'm comfortable here."</p><p>I turned to Alice who was sat in the seat behind Edward. "Alice, help?"</p><p>She grimaced, embarrassed it seemed. "He's not going to move, Bella. I'm sorry."</p><p>I turned to him again, in utter disbelief. Was he really going to be this petty?</p><p>Mike took my arm back and placed it on his armrest, interlocking our arms once more. "If he wants to be <em>that</em> kind of ex Bella, just let him. He's only making himself look bad."</p><p>I winced at Mike's harsh words, but it caused Edward to shoot Mike one of the dirtiest looks I had ever seen cross his beautiful face–and I couldn't help but laugh.</p><p>Mike snickered with me. Edward scowled and glanced away, resting heavily on the opposite armrest, chin on his hand.</p><p>When Edward did nothing more, I relaxed and eased into the movie, eventually stealthily removing my arm from Mike's to better hold the popcorn bucket between us.</p><p>Despite just being a ploy to get out of a solo date with Mike, the movie was surprisingly entertaining. Engrossing Mike so completely he seemed to forget I was there, and thus forget all about courting me. I could just watch and enjoy the movie too.</p><p>
  <em>Good plan, Bella.</em>
</p><p>A light movement near my right side suddenly made my arm hairs stand on end.</p><p>I turned and saw it was Edward–the back side of his fingers just barely, tantalizing running up the air a millimeter above my arm.</p><p>I yanked my arm to my chest and glowered at him.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>He didn't need to read my mind to know what I meant. He only shrugged and returned his hands to his lap. I didn't trust it, but I turned back to the movie.</p><p>Just as I was getting back into the show, I felt something flitter across my neck.</p><p>Edward was waving his movie neck at my throat, at the place I had to cover with make-up this morning to hide the hickey he left behind yesterday.</p><p>He grinned knowingly as I covered the spot with my hand. I meant to glare at him harshly, but the effect was weakened when I suddenly sighed at the memory.</p><p>
  <em>Who would have guessed it'd feel so good…</em>
</p><p>He fingers began to run along the air above my arm again, and I didn't stop him. It did feel good, amazing actually.</p><p>I was starting to feel the energy of that day in Biology again, when I felt that overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him. When…</p><p>
  <em>Oh!</em>
</p><p>An idea popped into my head, causing me to jump a little. Edward momentarily paused his teasing, concerned.</p><p>I ignored him, trying to quickly form my new plan, hoping this would give me the edge I needed to end this ridiculous stand off.</p><p>I had everything all about set when Edward changed direction and started hovering his hand over the edge of my skirt on my knees. He waved his hand, causing the skirt to float up a little. Goosebumps ran directly up my thighs, all the way to my–I shivered.</p><p>He then leaned over and breathed in my ear, "You look so entrancing this evening."</p><p>I shivered again.</p><p>
  <em>You got this Bella. Keep focus.</em>
</p><p>I took a deep, steadying breath and turned to Mike. "Bathroom," I whispered quietly. Mike only nodded, his eyes glued to the screen.</p><p>I stood and hurried past Edward, but not before giving him a meaningful look.</p><p>I traveled up the ramp, turned the corner, and then paused, staying in the dark theater but out of sight.</p><p>On cue, Edward joined me moments later, his expression questioning.</p><p>I beckoned him forward. He complied, taking a step and–I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the wall.</p><p>Not truly of course, there was nothing short of another vampire that could physically make Edward do anything. I appreciated his compliance.</p><p>He instantly reached for my waist, his eyes brimming with hope, but I firmly shook my head.</p><p>"No touching," I said under my breath. "You still have to ask for permission."</p><p>His lips formed a flat line. "Then what it is you want?" He gestured to our positions.</p><p>"To touch you," I answered, letting my hands drift down his arms. "To my heart's delight." I moved my hands lightly over Edward's hard stomach and rested them there. "If you'll allow it, that is."</p><p>Edward leaned his head back, swallowing a large gulp of air.</p><p>He whispered so quietly then I almost didn't hear him say, "Why?"</p><p>I lifted a shoulder. "To see if there's anything I say that matters to you."</p><p>He flashed me a wounded look. Then closed his eyes and gently nodded. I could almost believe he wanted this too.</p><p>I smirked, thrilled at this opportunity, and pushed my hands up under his soft blue shirt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll be wrapping up this story shortly I think, maybe three or four more chapters. I'm running out of steam but definitively want to finish what I started. I hope you're still enjoying this story with me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Heaven on Earth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward's stomach was all hard planes and, surprisingly, a little hairy. There was a small amount of fine hair underneath his bellybutton and smattering across his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Mm…</em>
</p><p>I ran my hands further up his stomach and under his shirt, brushing past his ribs, finally landing on his nipples.</p><p>Edward reacted–his eyes popping open. He then looked down at me, his eyes dark and full of longing.</p><p>I only smiled and swirled my fingers around a nipple each, loving it when he let out a small moan.</p><p>
  <em>He likes that, huh?</em>
</p><p>I pushed further up and raked my nails down his back. He shivered and crooned, "You don't know what you're doing to me Bella…Please?"</p><p>He hovered a palm over my cheek, its iciness raising goosebumps. I shook my head. "No, not yet."</p><p>Edward winced, but lowered his hand, balling it into a fist against the theater wall.</p><p>I continued my explorations, enjoying more every second the desperation that filled his features.</p><p>An idea struck me. </p><p>I gripped Edward securely at the hips and rose up on my tippy-toes, placing my lips on his neck. I opened my mouth and began to suck, mimicking the move he pulled on me the day before.</p><p>His hands flew outwards, about to push me to his chest – they stopped just a hair short.</p><p>I paused my ministrations, waiting to see if he would break the no touch rule after all.</p><p>He remained still as a statue, arms still around me, but not making contact.</p><p>
  <em>So he likes this too. Interesting.</em>
</p><p>I continued my attention on his neck and skimmed my hands along his face, tracing his perfectly symmetrical features.</p><p>
  <em>Beautiful…</em>
</p><p>I reached into his hair, tangled my fingers in his messy bronze strands, and pulled back.</p><p>Edward's eyes had been squeezed shut, his breath coming out in short pants.</p><p>Now he looked at me through heavy-lidded eyes, his gaze dangerously heated. Seductive, even.</p><p>"I want to touch you Bella," he half-pleaded. "Why won't you let me?"</p><p>I smirked–I'd been waiting for this. "Sounds like you're not a big fan of your choices being taken away," I let go of his hair. I could hear the movie wrapping up. "Especially when it's something you <em>really</em> want, and you don't understand why the other person is so stubborn about giving it to you."</p><p>Edward's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I had rendered him speechless.</p><p>I smiled, beyond pleased, and exited the theater.</p><p>I wasn't sure how I was going to explain to everyone my sudden disappearance, but I was feeling too high to care at the moment.</p><p>
  <em>Edward tongue-tied…A first.</em>
</p><p>I had just reached my truck outside when I felt a sudden gust of air at my back.</p><p>I turned to face Edward–his beautiful face was etched with lines. "Ten…ten years," he stuttered out. "Give me ten years. Then I'll change you."</p><p>My jaw about fell to the floor. Was I hearing right?</p><p>"Excuse me," I shook my head. Shook it again. "Are you saying you'll change me?"</p><p>Edward's face contorted, but he nodded.</p><p>I was dumbstruck. I couldn't believe it.</p><p>
  <em>I…got through to him?</em>
</p><p>It was hard to compute, and since I knew I wasn't going to have a response before the group started filtering out of the theater, I opened the truck door.</p><p>Edward's eyes flashed anxiously. I gestured to the passenger side door and said softly, "Let's talk on the way home."</p><p>Tension instantly left his body. He quietly slid into the truck.</p><p>I continued to mull things over as I drove, truly astounded he gave any headway.</p><p>
  <em>I think part of me expected he would never give in.</em>
</p><p>For the first time since my birthday, I felt hopeful. Maybe even believed Edward wanted to be with me.</p><p>We reached my house in no time at all. I pulled into the empty driveway, only remembering then that Charlie said he would be working the night shift tonight. Apparently there had been a few hikers who'd gone missing over the last month.</p><p>I put the truck in park and turned the key in the ignition. It had been a silent ride, though mercifully not uncomfortable like the last time.</p><p>I took a deep breath and turned to face Edward's statuesque form. "Thank you."</p><p>Edward blinked in shock.</p><p>I continued before he could, "I appreciate that you're finally hearing me. At least, I think you are. But the thing is," I breathed in, "If you're going to stay forever in your teens, then so am I. The best I can give you is 19–so a little less than two years, tops."</p><p>Edward's hands gripped the seat of the truck cab–so hard the old leather groaned in protest. "Bella…" he said through clenched teeth, his eyes ablaze, "Tell me, <em>please</em>, how am I supposed to take away your soul?"</p><p>I flinched.</p><p>Something about his tone, his eyes…he was truly tormented over this. Totally convinced all vampires must have lost their souls.</p><p>It was heartbreaking. It was infuriating.</p><p>"Edward," I gently laid my hand over his, "You know the truth of that just about as much as I do–and I don't believe it. How can you love with a soul? How do you practice compassion so well? I don't buy it, not at all."</p><p>Edward's expression softened, his grip loosening on the seat. "I wish I could believe that, Bella. That's the difficult part for me."</p><p>"Just sounds to me like you have some personal growing to do."</p><p>He chuckled lightly. "I don't disagree with you on that one."</p><p>"I'm patient Edward – to a point. I'll give you time to reflect. And as for my part, I'll cut it out with Mike."</p><p>
  <em>He's served his purpose anyways.</em>
</p><p>I grimaced–incredibly guilty feeling. I would have to damage control Monday.</p><p>"Thank you," Edward replied, his brows scrunching together. "I still don't know if I can promise you I'll change my views…"</p><p>"I have faith in you."</p><p>Edward gave me his perfect crooked smile. My heart skipped a beat.</p><p>He slowly started to extend his hands towards my face – I leaned back. "Let's leave the no touching rule in place for now, though."</p><p>He frowned initially, then asked lightly, "A kiss to seal the deal, then? On my future personal growth?"</p><p>I quirked a brow, suspicious.</p><p>
  <em>I suppose one kiss is alright…I did get myself worked up touching him.</em>
</p><p>I gave a tiny bob of my head and Edward instantly leaned forward – then paused.</p><p>I fought the urge to protest, but his eyes were on the house. "How about we save the kiss? For a more opportune time, perhaps?"</p><p>I was the one to frown now, having no idea what he could be thinking. "I guess?"</p><p>His smile was electric. "Excellent. Well, see you soon." He was out of the cab without another word – gone into the night.</p><p>I was left feeling confused and wanting. Wasn't the kiss his idea?</p><p>
  <em>Okay then.</em>
</p><p>The next hour was spent finishing up chores around the house. Folding laundry, putting up the dishes, writing the grocery list – all while bouncing on my feet. Charlie was out of the house. The night was mine.</p><p>
  <em>Finally I can try the toy!</em>
</p><p>I was more than ready to go now after the time spent with Edward in the theater, touching him with reckless abandon.</p><p>
  <em>His chest hairs were such a surprise.</em>
</p><p>I threw myself on the bed, barely able to contain myself, and slipped under the covers.</p><p>On the off-chance Charlie showed up and burst through my bedroom door, I didn't want to give him a show, scarring him – and myself – for life. So under the covers it was.</p><p>I shrugged out of my shorts and panties, stretched a hand over to my nightstand drawer, and reached inside.</p><p>
  <em>Huh.</em>
</p><p>I rolled over, closer to the nightstand, wondering why I didn't feel the sleek box on top that contained the toy.</p><p>
  <em>I swore it was just in here yester-</em>
</p><p>My hair whooshed around my face. My heart stop mid-beat.</p><p>Edward.</p><p>Here.</p><p>I turned as if in slow-motion, eyes wide as I took in Edward lounging on the bed next to me. He casually inspected the black silicone vibrator in his hand.</p><p>"Mm, I'd been wondering when you might think to use this."</p><p>He turned to me, one corner of his lips curled. "I assumed only on nights I was out hunting. It remained curiously untouched by your scent, however, these past few months. Renee would be disappointed to learn that, I imagine."</p><p>I gripped the edge of my comforter and yanked it fully over my head.</p><p>I could just die. I willed it to happen then and there.</p><p>
  <em>Why is he here?!</em>
</p><p>The cover was almost as quickly pulled from me, exposing my face. Edward leaned over me, balancing on one elbow.</p><p>His molten gold eyes swam with heat and bore into me so completely I felt pinned to the bed. He then whispered, "I would like to take that kiss now."</p><p>I gaped, not sure if I had enough breath to say yes or no either way.</p><p>Edward dipped his head to mine and captured my lips, pushing roughly against them.</p><p>I inhaled against his lips–forgetting how my body responded to him–and kissed him back hungrily, tangling my fingers in his hair.</p><p>Then, for the second time ever, Edward pushed his tongue into my mouth.</p><p>This time I could fully appreciate it–it was heavenly. Indescribable. I wanted to be consumed by his kiss.</p><p>The feeling shot straight to core, arousing me to an almost painful peak.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god…</em>
</p><p>Edward broke the kiss. "I know what you want to do Bella." He moved the vibrator into view. "And I want to be the one to give it to you. I humbly request that you allow that."</p><p>I groaned–part out of desire, part out of embarrassment.</p><p>
  <em>What if…</em>
</p><p>I sighed and locked my arms around Edward's neck. Resolved that the worst that could happen–he was turned off by my face and noises–that it was better to learn now than before spending eternity together.</p><p>
  <em>And best case is I have an orgasm.</em>
</p><p>I gave a tiny nod, but quickly added, "You still can't touch me though–only me you."</p><p>Edward's eyes tightened, but he gave his consent with a small nod in return.</p><p>He pressed the button for the vibrator and swiftly slipped it under the sheets.</p><p>My back arched off the bed the moment the vibrator touched my clit.</p><p>"<em>Ah</em>!" I cried. It was unlike any other feeling in the world.</p><p>Edward seemed worried and lifted the vibrator up, but I quickly pressed down hard on his hand, insisting he resume as before.</p><p>I withered under the covers as Edward held the vibrator steadily on me again, feeling his eyes on me more than seeing them–too consumed by the colors exploding behind my eyelids, the explosions of feeling happening throughout my whole body to take in much of anything else.</p><p>"Oh god…" I could only moan as I felt the pressure building, some sort of coil winding tighter and tighter.</p><p>I suddenly envisioned Edward not holding a vibrator on me, but his whole body over me, naked and joining me in this pleasure, his thumb and member achieving the same effect…</p><p>"Edward," I whined pathetically. I needed something else, something to push me over that edge, but I wasn't sure what.</p><p>He leaned in impossibly close, his eyes swimming with lust–desperate and needy. Clearly this was doing something for him too.</p><p>"Yes my love?" he asked in a rough voice. "What do you need?"</p><p>I cried out wordlessly, so desperate for this pressure to reach its end.</p><p>I pulled myself up to him, pushing my lips against his, and ran my tongue along his lower lip.</p><p>He was quick to the uptake, thrusting his tongue into my mouth.</p><p>
  <em>Yes!</em>
</p><p>It was a step in the right direction, but still I whimpered pitifully, still needing something else.</p><p>Edward pulled back just the slightest bit from our kiss, and requested, "Let me give you what you need."</p><p>I wasn't sure what he meant, but nodded anyways. I was all open to ideas.</p><p>He adjusted around me, moving the vibrator to his other hand, and slipped his now freed hand under the covers.</p><p>Before I could ask what he was doing, he kissed me again–his tongue thrusting into my mouth at exactly the same time his fingers did.</p><p>"Oh!" I cried out, finally finding that release from the pressure–the coil not only snapping, but shattering. The world went white. I was experiencing true bliss.</p><p>
  <em>Heaven.</em>
</p><p>I came down slowly, measuredly. Wondrously.</p><p>"Wow…" I said, honestly stunned by the pleasure my body could experience. "Wow."</p><p>Finally, I turned to Edward. Shyness creeped in.</p><p>But it was for nothing – his eyes raked over my face. There was only one word for his expression.</p><p>
  <em>Hungry.</em>
</p><p>The shyness evaporated. I was suddenly deeply glad he was here. That he was the one to do it.</p><p>
  <em>I can only imagine how much better it'll be when it's us together…</em>
</p><p>Edward started to sit-up–I grabbed at his collar. "Where do you think you're going?"</p><p>He chuckled. "I thought you might need a chance to clean up. I do as well…"</p><p>I sighed, but nodded, agreeing. "Alright. But then come back."</p><p>He smiled my beloved smile. "I will. Thank you, Bella."</p><p>I smiled loopily back at him.</p><p>"No, thank <em>you</em>."</p><p>We laughed together then, and I could almost feel it.</p><p>We were going to figure this out. We were going to be okay.</p><p>Surely.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So bit of a delay on this chapter! Sorry about that, I figured I needed to plan out the next few chapters before continuing. I hope there are still readers out there, the encouragement is lovely. </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. New Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for your patience with my chapter update delays! I actually just had to take time to plot out the rest of this story (in detail). I (so far) have planned for this story to end on chapter 12. So please, if you would, review and let me know what you think! It would also greatly help me get the next chapters out quicker (positive reinforcement, and all!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I stirred to the feeling of my "pillow" moving and peeked groggily up at Edward from his chest – his smile was better than any sunrise. "Good morning, love."</p><p>I smiled just as brightly. "Good morning."</p><p>He tightened his arm around my waist and used his other hand to brush a stray hair off my cheek. "I hope this is alright..." He held me a little closer for emphasis.</p><p>I grinned. "I think you've earned a little touching after the orgasm you provided."</p><p>He laughed. "Well if that's all it takes to get to touch you…" I was swiftly rolled onto my back, Edward above me. Although I felt none of his weight, nearly every inch of his body fell against mine. He took my face between his hands. "I'll happily provide my services again. Any time. <em>Multiple</em> times."</p><p>He kissed me roughly, but chastely, like one our old kisses. I was content with it since, admittedly, I was still exhausted from last night's heavenly ascension.</p><p>
  <em>Made all the better by Edward's fingers…</em>
</p><p>I moaned at the memory and – simultaneously – Edward's tongue slipped into my mouth and a <em>very</em> hard part of him pushed against my thigh.</p><p>I was instantly alert, but thrilled, more than ready to return the favor to him.</p><p>I snaked a hand down between us and– Edward was gone. It took me a few seconds to register that he had thrown himself completely off me and the bed.</p><p>He now sat rigidly in my rocking chair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I do not believe I'm strong-willed enough for that just yet."</p><p>I nodded my head meekly, sitting up.</p><p>He released a breath and smiled. "I do appreciate the offer, however."</p><p>I giggled. "I bet! Well I'll be ready when you are."</p><p>His smile widened and he slowly started to rock in the chair. "I'll keep that in mind."</p><p>Edward's eyes suddenly flickered to the window. "Ah, Alice." Edward faced me, standing up. "She's here and would like a chat with you before school…I think." He frowned. "Is this about what you've been hiding?" he asked under his breath, leaving me to assume it was meant for Alice.</p><p>I stood up. "Let her know I'll be down just as soon as I'm dressed and ready."</p><p>Edward leaned forward to place a kiss on my forehead – I allowed it, wondering if I really would reinstate the no touching rule.</p><p>I felt the most loved, wanted, and secure in our relationship than I had ever before.</p><p>"I'll be downstairs too when you're ready," Edward said with a wide smile, disappearing soon after.</p><p>I showered and dressed feeling as light as a feather. Free and oddly without any solid thought processes.</p><p>The revelation that Edward could not only take care of me with the toy, but also seemed to like it, made me hopeful for future explorations.</p><p>When I finally came down the stairs, Edward and Alice were locked in an intense stare off. Edward's brows were scrunched tightly together as he leaned over the table and, although Alice smiled sweetly, I could see tightness in her eyes.</p><p>"Um, good morning Alice," I greeted, confused.</p><p>Alice turned to me cheerfully. "Good morning Bella!" She waved a hand at Edward then. "Shoo, time for you to go."</p><p>Edward glowered at her, but straightened his back. "I'll see you at school, Bella. I need to go home and change. You and Alice have a nice talk."</p><p>He shot one last sharp look at Alice before disappearing out the door.</p><p>I faced her. "Are you two okay…?"</p><p>Alice laughed, the sound sweet and bell-like. "Oh yes, he's just being stubborn. Always wanting to know everything right here and now. You can't realize how good you are for Edward in that way."</p><p>I sat down in the kitchen chair across from her, the curiosity near painful at this point. "You've been keeping something from Edward," I stated rather than asked.</p><p>Alice nodded. "Yes, but only because I saw it would be better if I told you first."</p><p>I lifted a hand, indicating for her to continue.</p><p>She sighed. "The thing is Bella, it's a biggie. A bit world altering. Or well, it would have been. You changed all that when you decided not to attend your birthday party."</p><p>A knot formed in my stomach. I immediately knew what she was going to say, or at least an approximation of it. Somehow, inexplicably. The night of my birthday was a new moon – all signs were pointing for it to be the darkest night of my life.</p><p>Alice took my shaking hands. "I need to tell you Bella because, well, if you're really going to continue on this path with Edward – holding your ground and having him see you as an equal – you need to know. You need to know Edward was going to leave you."</p><p>I went still, and never relaxed once during Alice's explanation. She told of how I was going to get a paper cut opening a present, triggering Jasper to lunge at me and Edward to subsequently protect me but cause even more damage. The resulting fallout left Edward totally convinced, as he nearly was already, that my life would be better off without him in it. He would leave me, tell me he didn't love me, and I would fall to pieces in his wake. Alice could barely go on from there, her face twisting in pain as she described the depression I would fall into.</p><p>I held up a hand. "Alice." I rose to my feet, barely feeling them. "I've heard enough."</p><p>
  <em>Edward…</em>
</p><p>Mechanically, I fetched my keys and pulled on my jacket. It was raining, I didn't want to get my new blouse wet.</p><p>"Bella?" Alice mirrored my movements, hovering anxiously. "I'm sorry, I didn't wan–"</p><p>"No," I shook my head slowly, my eyes unseeing. "It was good that you told me."</p><p>I opened the front door. I had a destination in mind – the only place where I knew Edward could not follow.</p><p>I was halfway to my truck when Alice caught me by the wrist. "He loves you, Bella, please don't doubt that. He might have said otherwise in another timeline, but it was only to protect you. He would not have been able to stay away for long."</p><p>I just nodded. She let me go, and I climbed into my truck.</p><p>Suspecting and knowing were two different things. In a way it was relieving to have confirmation, to know I wasn't "crazy" to suspect the worst. To believe that should something happen to me under Edward's watch, he would blame himself and leave.</p><p>It also meant, despite his protests, Edward <em>could</em> abandon me. Abandon our love. He could say he didn't love me. Something that was an impossibility for me. Perhaps, as irrational as it was, it left me convinced that meant Edward didn't love me as much as I loved him.</p><p>I waited until I saw the first houses of La Push before pulling over to the side of the road and unleashing my pain – weeping, sobbing, clutching my chest together as if to close the gaping wound that had formed.</p><p>
  <em>Edward could leave. Edward did leave.</em>
</p><p>I buried my face into the seat.</p><p>
  <em>Edward's love isn't strong enough to keep him here.</em>
</p><p>Then the real truth, the real agonizing thought slipped forward–</p><p>
  <em>There's somewhere else Edward would rather be.</em>
</p><p>I cried out.</p><p>
  <strong>Edward Cullen</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Edward?</em>
</p><p>I turned at Alice's silent call – her little feet could barely be heard racing through the woods.</p><p>The fact that I heard them at all was a little concerning.</p><p>
  <em>She seems agitated.</em>
</p><p>"Finished talking with Bella?" I asked aloud as she appeared in front of me, the leaves of the forest floor swirling up around her as she came to a halt.</p><p>She gave a sad smile. "Yes, and it went about as expected."</p><p>I narrowed my eyes– I could see in her thoughts Bella on the verge of tears, her movements wooden as she exited her home and climbed into her truck.</p><p>"What happened? What did you tell her?" I demanded, forgetting everything else.</p><p>
  <em>Did she hurt Bella's feelings? Why?</em>
</p><p>"Edward…" she whispered. Then paused, breathing in deep. "Wait, what are you doing out here? What is that scent?"</p><p>I ignored her, "Tell me what you said to Bella. Or better yet, show me."</p><p>"Explain to me what you're doing first," Alice said, crossing her arms, her thoughts flashing to the various accents of Taiwanese Sign Language – her most effective tactic at blocking me out.</p><p>I growled, low and deep.</p><p>She lifted her chin. "I promise I'll tell you, <em>show</em> you everything after."</p><p>I still glared, but explained, "I caught wind of a familiar scent outside of Bella's home – do you recognize it?"</p><p>Alice pursed her lips, then lifted her nose. "Oh! Is that…?"</p><p>"Laurent's," I confirmed. "He was here. Both by Bella's and our home, although he left a three-mile radius around us. I just got off the phone with Tanya – she claims he's been with them the whole previous 6 months."</p><p>Alice's eyes filled with worry. "What do you think that means?"</p><p>I lifted a shoulder. "I'm not sure. But I believe it is worth investigating. I'm tempted to pay him a covert visit in return."</p><p>Alice nodded, taking in what I said. She then sighed. "Well, I suppose it's time you knew."</p><p>"Go ahead," I gestured to her urgently.</p><p>She grimaced. "Just know Edward…I'm sorry. I'm only the messenger."</p><p>If I still had a beating heart it might have froze just then.</p><p>Her tone, her face– it all pointed to pain.</p><p>All I could think of was Bella.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Time to Think</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have to move sometime Edward," Alice pointlessly stated.</p><p>I did eventually move– and started pacing.</p><p>
  <em>Jasper…he would have hurt Bella. If I hadn't read his thoughts in time Bella would have been killed. Right in front of me. My love, my whole world just…gone.</em>
</p><p>I froze again, terrified beyond reason.</p><p>
  <em>So I left. Left my beautiful Bella behind so she could be safe. Have a normal, human life. It's not the worst idea…</em>
</p><p>Alice scowled at me. "Don't forget Edward." Her eyes drifted to the side and I could see it again – Bella in bed, curled in on herself, eyes already so raw from tears, screams and cries in her sleep, "Edward! Please!"</p><p>Another vision of Bella in school, isolated and unresponsive– a zombie. Months and months pass…there is no change. Bella has stopped living, has resorted only to surviving.</p><p>Then Alice's eyes dart to the other side, and there's me, curled up in such a similar position in an old, dusty attic. Almost becoming the statue I already felt like. My eyes are just as empty, just as cut adrift.</p><p>The conclusion is clear – no one benefits from this decision.</p><p>And yet I could feel the pull in me to try, to do what it takes to quit being so incredibly selfish and find a way to avoid cursing Bella to my way of life.</p><p>
  <em>But perhaps that is selfish, making decisions on our relationship without Bella.</em>
</p><p>I blink, stunned by own conclusion. It was a first. Only now did I realize how little I trusted Bella to make the right choices for herself.</p><p>
  <em>Is this what she meant by not feeling like equals?</em>
</p><p>It was a little disconcerting to learn how wrong I'd been.</p><p>"I need to talk to Bella," I declared, sure of it.</p><p>Alice smiled. "Yes you do."</p><p>I started towards her house, but Alice continued, "Unfortunately, she went down to La Push. She won't be back until this evening."</p><p>My shoulders quickly slumped, defeated.</p><p>
  <em>Of all places to run off to…</em>
</p><p>I groaned.</p><p>
  <em>Of course, to avoid me. She must be so hurt.</em>
</p><p>I was determined though. I would make this right. I'd wait for her by the border line.</p><p>"I'll see you later Alice," I said, waving over my shoulder as I went.</p><p>"Yes you will…" Alice murmured as I broke into a run. I didn't pause to see what she meant. I'd had my fill of her visions today.</p><p>I'd almost reached the La Push border when I caught the scent again– Laurent's. There was something off, however. The scent seemed tinged with another's, but it was so faint, I couldn't make it out.</p><p>
  <em>What is…</em>
</p><p>I frowned and checked my cell.</p><p>
  <em>Still early. Bella won't come out until this evening.</em>
</p><p>I turned on my heel and started after the scent trail – I would find out what I could and return.</p><p>Something wasn't adding up.</p><p>
  <strong>Bella Swan</strong>
</p><p>"Last slice?" Jake asked, holding the pizza box towards me. We'd ordered a pizza for lunch – or well I ordered it for Jake, it seemed. I had only managed to nibble on a single slice while I watched Jake work under the Rabbit's hood.</p><p>I shook my head and Jake smiled – so sweet and genuine – and popped the last slice in his mouth.</p><p>I chuckled. He was a bottomless pit.</p><p>"It's nice to hear you laugh," Jake commented around the pizza in his mouth. He swallowed before continuing, "Glad to see you come alive!"</p><p>I gave a small smile. I was in a better mood – thanks largely to Jake. The darkness did still linger, though. It was just easier to shy away from with Jake's brightness so close.</p><p>
  <em>I'm going to have to go home eventually though…</em>
</p><p>The hole ached in acknowledgement.</p><p>
  <em>How could Edward leave me? Leave so easily?</em>
</p><p>I suppressed a groan and brought my soda to my lips, casting my eyes down so as not to alert Jake. He was currently working away with a wrench, temporarily freeing me from conversation.</p><p>
  <em>But he didn't. Not yet, anyways. That was another Edward.</em>
</p><p>Without Alice telling me though, I knew. Edward was 100% capable of leaving me. He had hinted it at it enough before. It was the memory of his insistence I go live with Renee in the Phoenix hospital that drove me to ditch my own birthday party and break up with him in the first place.</p><p>A new feeling was bubbling up. It was…peculiar. The hole, the depression, was still there but now something else was moving in.</p><p>My hands tightened on the soda can, creating dents in the aluminum.</p><p>
  <em>I'm…angry?</em>
</p><p>It was like an inferno slowly alighting in my chest – it still hurt, but I felt more grounded. Surer.</p><p>
  <em>He says he loves me, insists he's nothing special compared to me, that his feelings are so much stronger for me than mine for him…and yet he would have up and left me crying in the woods? To suffer in an all-consuming depression?</em>
</p><p>I started to shake, furious. It was just so unfair. Mostly because I knew if it came to it, there would be no convincing Edward otherwise. He was right, I was wrong. A stupid hormone-driven human who didn't know how to properly take care of herself.</p><p>
  <em>He acts like he so selfless but leaving me – "for" me – would be selfish. So incredibly selfish!</em>
</p><p>"Damn," Jake said, voice full of awe, his brown eyes roaming across my face.</p><p>I blushed, promptly embarrassed. "Oh gosh Jake, don't mind me. I'm just thinking about a lot."</p><p>"Yeah I got that," Jake's gaze fell to the crushed can in my hands, "And I have an idea."</p><p>He stood up and took my hand, leading me across the shed until we came to stand in front of a punching bag.</p><p>"Oh no! No no," I said, stepping back. "I don't need another ER visit."</p><p>Jake laughed a full-bellied laugh. "Only you would look at a punching bag like another accident-in-waiting." Jake threw a fist at the bag and it swung wildly. He was much stronger than I expected.</p><p>"It's not going to hurt you. You're going to hurt <em>it</em>." Jake demonstrated by throwing another few fists. I did have to admit it looked fun.</p><p>And I really felt like hitting something. Some<em>one</em>.</p><p>I took a step and Jake held an arm out as if to usher me forward. I curled my hand and punched the bag firmly.</p><p>The bag barely moved an inch, but I felt amazing. It was cathartic.</p><p>Jake covered his laugh with a cough before smiling down at me. "See? Feels good, right?"</p><p>I grinned and nodded. I tossed a few more punches, once perfectly imagining the infuriating bronze-haired boy in my life.</p><p>
  <em>Why can't he just get it?</em>
</p><p>Another punch.</p><p>
  <em>This isn't about me or him anymore, it's about us!</em>
</p><p>I breathed in deep, already winded.</p><p>
  <em>I'm not going to keep living like this, waiting in fear for him to leave the second something goes wrong that he'll blame himself for. He either needs to make me some promises, or not be with me.</em>
</p><p>When I exhaled, it was shaky. I didn't regret the thought though. For the first time since I declared us broken up, I felt sure that I could live without Edward. Not happily, it was still not at all what I wanted, but it felt like what was healthy. Healthy if he couldn't make me the promise to stay, to choose to love me even as his life brought me dangerously close to otherworldly threats.</p><p>I pulled back my arm and gave the bag one last good hit. It was enough to actually make the bag swing – unfortunately I wasn't prepared for this, so when it came swinging back towards me, it smacked me square in the knees and I went crumpling to the ground.</p><p>Right as my head was about to make contact with the dirt floor, Jake caught me around the shoulders.</p><p>"Bella! Are you alight?" Jake asked frantically, pulling me to my feet. I just laughed – it was as if he had done a dramatic dip with me in a dance.</p><p>"Yes Jake, I'm fine. Just same old klutzy Bella," I assured.</p><p>The pucker between his brows instantly relaxed. It was nice to not to have to convince everyone in my life I wasn't on the verge of death after every little trip or fall.</p><p>A little while later Jake walked me to my truck, very plainly trying to weasel out of me when I might visit again.</p><p>I tried to play if off casually, making no promises, worried I might have unintentionally led him on, when we passed by Billy talking to a tall male in the front yard.</p><p>He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put a name to a face.</p><p>When he saw me however, his eyes instantly lit with recognition. He looked stunned, as if I was the last person he expected to be walking by with Jake.</p><p>Jake gave him a wave, but turned his back to him as he opened my truck door for me.</p><p>"Who's that?" I asked quietly, trying not to look at the eyes piercing into me.</p><p>"Sam Uley," Jake grumbled. "Mister big shot of the rez. It's a whole thing."</p><p>I wanted to press for more, but thought better of it. It was too close by. Maybe I would make another visit soon after all, get the full La Push gossip.</p><p>For now though I had my destiny to catch up with.</p><p>
  <strong>Edward Cullen</strong>
</p><p>I stopped my run a few short feet from the tree line, slowing to a human walk.</p><p>
  <em>Why come out here? This is nowhere near the way back to Alaska.</em>
</p><p>I broke through the trees, taking an even slower than average human pace. I was nearing the end of the trail, still with zero answers.</p><p>
  <em>What were you trying to hide Laurent?</em>
</p><p>I halted at the edge of a cliff face, the 100-foot drop down to the ocean where Laurent must have jumped.</p><p>The second scent was stronger in this spot, but much too faded by now to identify.</p><p>
  <em>Did he meet with someone? Did he–</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Weird face, just like that couple last week.</em>
</p><p>I pivoted, catching the thoughts of a passerby. At the end of the hill walked an old man bent over his cane, hobbling on his way, likely headed for the small house on the edge of the woods.</p><p>I started towards him casually, hoping to seem disarming. By the cautious feel of his thoughts, I was marginally successful.</p><p>I offered him a small smile – one that covered most of my teeth – and greeted him pleasantly, "Good afternoon, sir. Could I have a moment of your time?"</p><p>He peered up at me with sharp eyes, suspicious, estimating.</p><p>
  <em>Not like the couple, too human.</em>
</p><p>I fought to keep my expression neutral.</p><p>"Whaddya need?" he replied aloud gruffly.</p><p>I smiled a little wider. "I was looking for an old friend, I heard he was in the area recently. He's something of a wanderer. Have you seen a dark-skinned man with dreads? He might have been with a friend?"</p><p>His eyes bore into me shrewdly, both silent in speech and thoughts. He seemed to merely be measuring me up, deciding if I was worth trusting with the truth.</p><p>Finally, after a full minute, he said, "Aye, I have."</p><p>I released a breath, relieved he was going to cooperate, then breathed in sharply when his thoughts flashed to an image of Laurent on the cliff side.</p><p>Laurent had been here alright, the old man had watched him from his window curiously, and noted with grudging awe as a beautiful woman slid off his back gracefully.</p><p>A beautiful <em>red-haired</em> woman with cat-like eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Victoria!</em>
</p><p>I gleaned all I could of his thoughts and turned on my heel, mumbling my thanks, and walked as quickly as visibly humanly possible back to the woods.</p><p>I had to get to Bella, had to get back to Forks.</p><p>
  <em>How could I be so naïve! I was never Victoria's target. Bella is my mate, she was always her object of revenge.</em>
</p><p>There was no other explanation to the clandestine use of Laurent. Even worse she likely knew now all my family's abilities and weaknesses. It was foolish to send Laurent to the Denali sisters.</p><p>I broke into a blinding run as soon as a thick coverage of trees was at my back.</p><p>
  <em>Bella I'm coming. I promise I'll never leave your side again.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright I am officially declaring this to be 13 chapter story, I hope I still have some readers with me! I'll be getting this wrapped up soon, with some sexiness (of course) to include in the last few chapters. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Bedroom Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow so we got an extra long chapter ahead of us here, hope that's alright! I expect the last two chapters will be pretty lengthy as well as I wrap this story up. Also again thank you so much the reviews, they have been very heart-warming while I've had fun with this little project (little being a joke as it totally got away from me...I honestly was shooting for 5 chapters at most).</p><p>Anyways, please enjoy! </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My thoughts were miles away as I drove home, dwelling mostly on the look Sam Uley gave me and what it could mean, when there was a sudden gust of cold air in the truck cab.</p><p>Of course, I didn't need to turn and look to know it was Edward now seated beside me. I looked anyways.</p><p>"Hello."</p><p>"Hello," he replied just as solemnly. Then with an edge of anxiety in his voice, he continued, "I almost broke the treaty to come get you. You can't imagine how hard it is for me when you're out of my reach."</p><p>I frowned, thrown by the open anguish in his voice. I almost apologized – almost.</p><p>"I can imagine, actually," I said evenly. "Alice painted a pretty vivid picture."</p><p>Edward winced. "I deserve that, I won't dispute it. I am deeply ashamed of myself. I know that may be hard to believe considering it was my decision that would have separated us, but I saw the events unfold in Alice's mind directly. It was…" Edward's face contorted. "…devastating. This other Edward was foolish to forbid Alice from looking into the effects of my leaving. Or perhaps the better word is cowardly. He hoped for the best, he didn't want to fathom the worst."</p><p>I blinked, holding back the tears that had formed. I couldn't speak.</p><p>
  <em>He sounds as wrecked as me…</em>
</p><p>I pulled into my once again empty driveway. Charlie was still working nights. The silence only grew with the engine off. I just didn't know what to say.</p><p>
  <em>But wouldn't he still leave if he decided my life was safer without him? Will he…</em>
</p><p>"Change me," I blurted aloud. "Promise to change me sometime soon – not in 10 years – but when I decide. Probably before I turn 20."</p><p>Edward shook his head once. "I don't see how that's related to– "</p><p>"I knew it!" I shouted, my worst fears confirmed. "You feel bad for how your <em>stupid</em> decision to leave hurt me, but not for making it in the first place. Given a new set of circumstances, you could make the decision to leave again – or for the first time, I guess. Whatever!"</p><p>I scowled into the evening sky outside my windshield, balling my hands into fists at my sides.</p><p>
  <em>Such an infuriating vampire!</em>
</p><p>"Bella," Edward sighed exasperatedly, "You're worrying for nothing. The circumstances have changed irreversibly – I might have left before when I was convinced you were safer without me, but that is not the case now. I have news."</p><p>I frowned and faced Edward. He explained then his discovery of Laurent's trail and how it led him to discover he was working with Victoria. What's more, he read in an old man's thoughts that she had asked for Laurent's help explicitly to check in on me. She was delighted to see that we had broken up. Apparently, her plans could be fast-tracked now.</p><p>"What plans?" I asked, voice hollow with dread.</p><p>Shockingly, Edward smiled. "That was all the man heard before turning away, but it doesn't matter. You know what this means, don't you?" He lightly placed his hand over mine on the seat. "I <em>can't</em> leave you. I couldn't now. Your life is in danger while Victoria is out there – it's clear you're her target, not me. You'll be in need of mine and my family's protection until she can be dealt with. I promise I will not even <em>think</em> of leaving again."</p><p>His hand tightened over my balled fist as if that was reassuring.</p><p>A million thoughts ran through me, in a near dizzying loop, but one thought spoke loudly over all of the others, "Edward – do you think I'm stupid?"</p><p>Edward gaped. "Excuse me?"</p><p>"You think I'm stupid," I stated flatly. "I know exactly what this means, and it's not that you won't ever leave me. If anything, I think you will <em>for sure</em> leave now. More so now than ever. If not, why wouldn't you agree to change me? It would be the wisest thing with Victoria on my tail. Yes, you will leave – just as soon as Victoria is dealt with."</p><p>Edward's eyes widened. He became stone still. The silence stretched and stretched…</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>
  <em>As I thought.</em>
</p><p>I pulled my hand from his and exited the truck.</p><p>I tried to stick my house key in the doorknob, but it was a struggle to get my hand to be still. The hole in my chest was widening and yawning, threatening to consume. Tears broke free, but had not quite yet devolved into sobs. I had to get inside.</p><p>
  <em>Just…come on door…</em>
</p><p>His hand was over mine like a whisper, unlocking the door swiftly and swinging it open.</p><p>I jumped back from him and yelled, "I said no touching!" I breathed out heavily, taking in his wounded expression, and added more calmly, "You have to ask, still."</p><p>I turned my back to him and entered the house, meaning to shut the door in his face, but he was already inside, leaning against the entryway wall.</p><p>I held the front door open. "What are you doing? Go home, I want to be by myself."</p><p>Edward smiled sadly. "I imagine, but I told you already – you're in danger. I will protect you."</p><p>I ground my teeth together. "And you have to be <em>inside</em> the house to do that?"</p><p>Edward narrowed his eyes. "Don't be petty, Bella. Until I hear back from Alice and Carlisle, I'll be as close to you as possible. I'll even spend the night in the rocking chair if you prefer."</p><p>"Ugh!" I slammed the door shut, knowing there would be no point arguing further when he spoke with that tone.</p><p>I went about my normal routine, albeit angrily. Prepared dinner, ate, did the dishes, and wrote up my excuse note for school today. Being 18 had one perk at least.</p><p>Edward meanwhile watched me the whole time. His topaz eyes followed my every move. He attempted small talk a few times, but I ignored him.</p><p>I could almost strangle him, but I had to admit I was afraid of what the revelation of Victoria meant. More for Charlie than myself. I hated that, just by being my dad and living in the same house, Charlie had been brought within the deadly sights of a vindictive vampire set on killing me.</p><p>
  <em>At least we know now. The Cullens can, at minimum, protect Charlie.</em>
</p><p>As I gathered clothes for my shower, fuming still at Edward, a brilliant idea popped into my head.</p><p>
  <em>I could–! Or well…could I?</em>
</p><p>I asked him to leave, he refused. I asked him to change me, he refused. Now I could do something for myself – if I could muster up the courage – and refuse <em>him</em>.</p><p>He had already accused me of being petty, why not live up to the summation?</p><p>
  <em>Of course, that's only if he actually cares enough to…</em>
</p><p>I shook my head.</p><p>
  <em>Worse comes to worse I still get to experience that incredible, heavenly ascension again.</em>
</p><p>I picked my clothes carefully and dashed by Edward in the rocking chair, entering the bathroom. I spent the shower building up my resolve, steeling myself for the worst-case scenario.</p><p>
  <em>Sure, it could be embarrassing, but it's not like it won't be anything he hasn't seen already…</em>
</p><p>After readying myself in the mirror, I took in a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and moved into the hall. My oversized T-shirt fell just long enough to cover my butt – and that was about it. I wore panties, but not a bra, though that was typical of most nights. The only difference tonight was I was sans pants and this shirt was slightly see-through.</p><p>I entered my room with only somewhat shaky knees and walked past Edward. At the sound of his sharp intake of breath, I turned slightly, never slowing my pace. Edward's eyes were wide, his gaze was glued to my exposed legs.</p><p>
  <em>Well at least I have his attention. That's something.</em>
</p><p>I reached my destination – the nightstand – and bent over to open the drawer. My shirt rose up some in the back, very likely revealing my most expensive, purple silk panties. I thought I heard the wood of the rocking chair groan in protest at Edward gripping the armrests, but I might have imagined it.</p><p>"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward asked, his voice strained.</p><p>I tried to avoid his eyes as I lifted the black vibrator up. "I think it's pretty obvious what I'm about to do."</p><p>I pulled back my bed's comforter, about to crawl inside, when I suddenly wasn't alone on the bed anymore.</p><p>Edward knelt in front of me, his hand also gripping the vibrator, his eyes like molten gold I could so easily get lost in.</p><p>"Bella," he whispered a mere couple inches from my face, letting his sweet scent wash across. "If you wanted a repeat performance of last night, all you had to do was ask."</p><p>It was hard to think straight, but I managed to remember my anger and reply, "Your services are not being requested tonight."</p><p>I could be oddly formal when I was distracted.</p><p>I tried to pull the vibrator from Edward's grasp, but it didn't budge.</p><p>"So you expect me to just sit here and…watch?"</p><p>I glanced down, my cheeks burning at his disbelieving accusation. "No…it'd be nice if you left, like I asked earlier."</p><p>"So that's what this is about?" He seemed angry. That was confusing.</p><p>"Well I want another orgasm too…" I murmured in my defense pathetically.</p><p>"Bella," he said somewhere between furious and seductive, "…as I've said before – I may be a vampire, a cold, soulless thing – but I am also a man. I don't think I could…I <em>wouldn't</em> sit comfortably aside while you did that to yourself so close. Permit me to touch you."</p><p>I leaned back, trying to create some distance before I ruined everything. "Well, I'm sorry, I can't give you that permission. Not until you can make me some promises about spending eternity together."</p><p>His eyes hardened. I glared right back.</p><p>
  <em>So full of himself! He wants to compromise without giving up a single thing on his end. So unfair!</em>
</p><p>I yanked harder on the vibrator, knowing it was useless to fight Edward, but hoping he would release it willingly. He had to see how insane he was being.</p><p>Edward's features smoothed. "Counteroffer – my <em>last</em> offer – either you permit me to touch you and regain your toy, or continue to punish me and force me to take 'your precious' out of the equation."</p><p>I scoffed. "You're unbelievable! No, no to both! Just give it back, leave if you want, and let me enjoy myself a little. It's the least you could do with how rude you've been…how incredibly <em>cruel</em> you would have been in another timeline."</p><p>
  <em>One I'm not totally convinced is off the table yet.</em>
</p><p>Edward stared at me for a long moment, his face unreadable. I held my ground, jutting my chin out.</p><p>Finally, Edward lifted a single shoulder, shrugging, and loosened his hold on the vibrator.</p><p>
  <em>Ha!</em>
</p><p>I was high on victory until I heard the squeal of metal bending.</p><p>I gasped and looked up – the vibrator in our hands was now warped into a U-shape. Broken beyond repair and usability.</p><p>Edward was standing on the other side of the bed in a single blurred movement, his face near unreadable, all except for the small smug smirk gracing his lips.</p><p>"Y-you!" I threw the useless piece of silicone directly at his stupid smirk. He didn't even bother to move, just let the toy hit him and bounce off. It did nothing to lessen his self-satisfaction. If anything, he smiled wider.</p><p>I threw myself off the bed and grabbed at his shirt, shaking it back and forth uselessly, beyond enraged.</p><p>"You're impossible! Cruel! So unfair and stubborn! Does what I want even matter to you?!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, letting it all out.</p><p>Edward's eyes peered down at me, his eyes dark and hooded. He held his hands tightly at his sides. "What you forget, Bella, is everything I do, I do for you. It just happens that what you want sometimes is not possible for me to give."</p><p>"That crap again!" I pulled at his shirt some more and accidentally popped open the top few buttons. The pale hard chest below his throat became exposed.</p><p>I paused, distracted, and let my hands wander.</p><p>Edward inhaled, his gaze turning sharp on me.</p><p>
  <em>Oh that's right, he doesn't like the tease.</em>
</p><p>I pulled open the rest of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders, grinning as I took in the whole of his perfect torso. I raked my hands down from collarbone to hips. My own body alighted in response.</p><p>Edward's right hand shot out and grabbed at the wall, his grip so forceful he cracked the wood.</p><p>I laughed, feeling in power again.</p><p>Edward's gaze grew dark. "I hope you understand that I could compel you to let me touch you at any moment. Easily, at that. I choose not to only out of respect for your wishes."</p><p>I scowled up at him, only then noticing his body was practically curled over mine. "I am well aware of how you dazzle, Edward, but things are different now. I know your tricks, and I have no interest in letting you win this time."</p><p>Edward cocked a brow. "Is that a challenge?"</p><p>I grimaced. I knew what he was really asking.</p><p>
  <em>Would I give him permission to try?</em>
</p><p>Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew exactly how this game was going to turn out, but I was too stubborn on trying to fight for a different outcome to say no.</p><p>I moved my head barely a millimeter in a nod, and Edward's body was around mine, not quite touching, but enough for me to feel caged in. His hands hovered just outside my hair and his head dipped down beside my ear.</p><p>"Bella…" he breathed Chills flittered across my face and neck. "Why do you deny my touch? Don't you know how much it pains me?"</p><p>I stiffened – his voice dripped honey, his agony so convincingly heartbreaking.</p><p>
  <em>I…</em>
</p><p>I straightened my shoulders, snapping out of it. "Don't you know how much it pains me when you say you love me, but won't promise me forever?"</p><p>Edward sighed gloomily, letting another wave of his sweet scent fill my lungs. "I just need time, love. I thought that might be obvious by now."</p><p>I balked, mind racing.</p><p>
  <em>Does he mean that, or is this part of the game?</em>
</p><p>I didn't have the chance to ask before I found myself being walked backwards, my back meeting my closed bedroom door. He had yet to touch me, I didn't know how he did it. He flattened his palms on either side of my head and leveled his gaze with mine – his nose a fraction away from my own.</p><p>His eyes were smoldering pools. "What I need now, however, is <em>you</em>."</p><p>I whimpered, feeling his words shake me to my core.</p><p>He dipped his head again, letting his breath replace his lips along my neck and collarbone. If that was it, I thought, I could survive it, but then he moved down. His icy breath wafted through the thin fabric covering my breast effortlessly.</p><p>I yelped, my back arching involuntarily, bringing my nipple directly against Edward's hard lips.</p><p>I quickly flattened my back again, blushing wildly.</p><p>Edward had a different reaction – his fingers dug into the wood of the door, he brought his face back to mine, and one hand dropped to fist the hem of my shirt.</p><p>"Bella," his eyes were liquid gold, burning, consuming, "Let me have you. <em>Please</em>."</p><p>I could tell all pretense was gone – he had been defeated by his own game.</p><p>Weak with need, I replied like I knew I would, "Okay."</p><p>His lips crashed into mine, rough and desperate, his tongue slid past my parted lips. I kissed him back just as hungrily, curling my fingers into his hair, trying to pull him closer.</p><p>To my delight, Edward helped, wrapping my legs around his waist. Then, to my utter shock, his hands continued up and under my shirt, landing on my bare waist.</p><p>I was so stunned I forgot to keep kissing him, and he growled, moving his lips to suck at my neck – likely adding a few new hickeys to his first one.</p><p>I almost fainted when his thumbs swept over the underside of my breasts.</p><p>Edward growled again at my sighs and my back met the softness of my bed. He held himself over me, his eyes wild with unbridled lust.</p><p>He tugged at the hem of my shirt. "May I?"</p><p>I nodded numbly, feeling like I might die if he didn't give me release soon.</p><p>My shirt was gone and I was suddenly totally bare in front of him on the bed, all save my panties. His eyes took me in like he wasn't the only otherworldly beauty here. There was no time to feel insecure as his lips were on mine again, his kiss so deep and thorough I could think of nothing else.</p><p>His hands found my breasts all at once, squeezing them simultaneously, causing my back to arch again and my legs to wrap around his torso in a near vice grip.</p><p>When my back lowered back to the bed, I felt my bottom brush against something hard between Edward's legs.</p><p>
  <em>Is that…?</em>
</p><p>Edward groaned into my mouth and pulled away, yanking my panties off in one fluid movement. My heart hammered in my chest in anticipation and, just as I hoped, his lips fell to my breast while his thumb found my clit.</p><p>I made a sound something like a scream, my body sung with happiness and pleasure.</p><p>
  <em>Yes!</em>
</p><p>Edward's thumb nearly equaled the vibrator, it was as if he had studied it the night before. Making circles and applying the exact right amount of pleasure and teasing. I squirmed underneath him, and he nibbled just a little with his lips on one taut nipple, gripping my other breast with his free hand to match.</p><p>"Edward!" I could only pant. It was impossible to speak further.</p><p>Edward lowered his free hand and firmly flattened one of my legs, giving him better access to my entrance. He teased it as well with the same hand that continued to torture my clit.</p><p>"I know, love," he returned his lips to mine, "Let me make amends for breaking your toy."</p><p>His two teasing fingers thrust into me and that was it – light exploded behind my eyes and the coil in my center snapped. I cried out and nearly clawed at him, so taken by my orgasm.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god…</em>
</p><p>It was like I was high, and off of heroin no less. If this is what tasting my blood was like to Edward, I could 110% understand the temptation now.</p><p>
  <em>My…god.</em>
</p><p>As I came down from the heavens above, I slowly started to notice Edward still in place over me, his body growing very still, his eyes squeezed shut.</p><p>I read over his expression – pained. Frustrated.</p><p>I didn't hesitate, I hoped it would be too quick for him to stop me, I ducked my hand down to his jeans and squeezed as tightly as I cold at the hardness I found there.</p><p>Edward's eyes flew open and he gasped, his hands seeking purchase on my metal headboard as he bucked into my hands. I kissed and sucked at his neck, remembering how much he liked it before. It took only a few more thrusts before he finished, crying out, moaning my name sweetly. I smirked against his neck, mentally patting myself on the back.</p><p>
  <em>I made Edward Cullen cum.</em>
</p><p>Finally, his body relaxed, and he rolled to his side next to me. His eyes held the smallest hints of reproach as he pulled me against his chest. "That was dangerous, Bella Swan."</p><p>"How so?" I asked innocently.</p><p>He gestured with his chin at my headboard. I peeked up to see the metal totally warped. Broken off entirely in one area.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>He chuckled. "Somehow I think I can forgive you."</p><p>I snuggled closer into his chest, yawned. It was hard to think about the troubles between us when the aftershocks of such a wonderful orgasm were still washing over me.</p><p>"Yes, please sleep," he nearly begged. "We can talk more in the morning."</p><p>I was about to do just that when a soft knock came from my bedroom door.</p><p>Edward instantly pulled the covers over us, his face full of panic, before he took a moment to pause – or to listen to the thoughts of our visitor, I assumed. He then grumbled, "Yes, Alice?"</p><p>She laughed lightly from the other side of the door. "You might want to get dressed before hearing my news."</p><p>I buried deeper under the covers, so <em>so</em> embarrassed. To me it didn't really matter who was out there, this was the worst possible time for a visitor.</p><p>
  <em>She knows exactly what we…what we just…</em>
</p><p>I groaned when I realized she probably knew well ahead of the both of us what we did.</p><p>"Alice just tell us," Edward demanded from the bed, his arm curling protectively around me.</p><p>She sighed. "It's Victoria."</p><p>My breath caught in my throat.</p><p>"She's made a decision – she's coming for Bella. With a small army of 8 newborns, to boot. Possibly another."</p><p>Edward's body stiffened.</p><p>"She'll be here tomorrow night. Edward, Bella…I'm so sorry."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah, sexiness! I hope that worked for everyone! I myself got into a little bit. I actually had more sexiness to add, but then I was like hey - there's more story left. Take a chill pill, me. </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Good Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I paced back and forth across the kitchen, listening as Edward and Alice discussed all the possible scenarios of Victoria's attack. According to Alice's vision, they would be in Forks at approximately 5:01 am tomorrow night, or really the morning of the day after next. We were working with roughly 31 hours of prep.</p><p>What was most insane though was how casual the talk had become. Alice and Edward sat at the kitchen table comfortably, running through all the options calmly, like this wasn't the most devasting news in the world.</p><p>Alice leaned her elbows on the table, her brow only slightly puckered. "I saw Victoria handing one of the newborns Bella's gym clothes, someone must have broken into the school this weekend to get them. I have no idea how I didn't see that. They'll be using it to follow her scent. Perhaps–"</p><p>"Jake!" I gasped, it hitting me what following my scent meant.</p><p>Edward and Alice looked up curiously.</p><p>"I visited Jake today, my scent is all over his place. I have to-…have to call and warn Billy." I picked up the phone from the wall, dialing before they could argue.</p><p>Edward only sighed and shook his head. "Unnecessary, Bella. We won't let Victoria and her army get that far."</p><p>Before I pressed the last number, I turned and faced Alice. "Do you still see Esme getting hurt in the battle?"</p><p>Alice grimaced. "She'll lose only one little arm. It's nothing, really. Easily reapplied."</p><p>"But that's only if things go exactly to plan, that doesn't take into account decisions made by the other vampires or Victoria in the heat of battle," I challenged.</p><p>Now Alice sighed. "It'll be fine, Bella. Once Jasper gives us some training tonight, we'll be in even better shape."</p><p>I snorted and finished dialing Jake's home phone. I was grateful for the first time that Billy was aware of the Cullens' true nature.</p><p>Despite it getting close to 11:00 pm, Billy answered on the second ring. "Hello?"</p><p>"Billy!" I exclaimed, relieved I didn't have to go through Jake. "I need to talk to you about something important. It's…Cullen related."</p><p>"Go on," Billy said, instantly serious.</p><p>I explained as best I could, careful to avoid giving away too many of the Cullen's secrets, and halfway through suggested Billy take Jake and Charlie away for an impromptu fishing trip.</p><p>Before I could wrap up, Billy interrupted with, "Hold on Bella, there's someone here who needs to talk to you."</p><p>I blinked, confused, hoping he wasn't intending to put Jake on the phone.</p><p>
  <em>Jake still believes the "cold ones" are silly stories, why…?</em>
</p><p>"Bella," a deep, male voice said with authority. "It's Sam Uley. Tell me what's going on. If there are vampires headed to Forks, we need to know about it."</p><p>I balked, suddenly at a loss for words.</p><p>"<em>We"…?</em></p><p>The phone disappeared from my hand – stolen away by Edward. "It's Edward Cullen, Sam. I can assure you we have the situation under control. Bella is just a bit of a worry-wart."</p><p>Sam replied. Edward's brows shot up. "No, we were not aware of that. Are you sure she was red-headed?"</p><p>Edward sighed, turned slightly to face Alice.</p><p>Alice frowned and met my gaze. "Victoria has definitely been playing with the holes in my vision."</p><p>I went rigid.</p><p>
  <em>If that's true, then she could do the same during the attack, throw the whole plan totally off course…</em>
</p><p>I covered my face with my hands. The horrors just wouldn't stop.</p><p>I must have missed a few snippets of the conversation because Edward was suddenly insisting, "No, really, that's alright. You don't need t–"</p><p>Edward scoffed, offended, and hung the phone back on the wall. He faced me, bewildered. "He's on his way over. Him and his <em>dogs</em>."</p><p>I tilted my head. "Dogs…?"</p><p>Edward opened his mouth to speak, but it was Alice's gasp that came out.</p><p>We turned to her at the same time. Her eyes were wide, shocked, her gaping mouth covered with one hand. "My…my visions. The battle. They're gone – all gone. I can't see a thing."</p><p>I might have fallen to the floor if not for Edward's cool arm catching me around the waist.</p><p>Could this night get any worse?</p><p>---</p><p>It turns out – yes and no.</p><p>In the space of six and half hours, I learned that not only was Sam Uley a werewolf, but three other La Push boys – Paul, Jared, and Embry. They stood in full werewolf form now across the clearing from me, watching as Jasper demonstrated with Emmett the best mode of attack on newborns. It was surprisingly more difficult for me to wrap my head around the idea of werewolves existing than vampires, but it was starting to sink in.</p><p>A rushed, tentative alliance had been formed between the Cullens and werewolves, the mutual priority of keeping Forks safe being the main motivation. Also, surprisingly, at the request of Billy Black to keep Charlie and I safe.</p><p>
  <em>Can the werewolves really compete with the might of a vampire though?</em>
</p><p>Edward had assured me werewolves could, and had, taken down vampires before, but it seemed an impossible notion to me. And despite the greater number of fighters and the alliance, there had been drawbacks. The biggest being Alice apparently unable to see a future with the werewolves in it.</p><p>
  <em>Yet everybody seems so calm now, carefree even.</em>
</p><p>I sought out Alice – sat on a rock at the edge of the clearing, chin in her hands, her lower lip jutted out.</p><p>
  <em>Minus one.</em>
</p><p>Then there was the problem with the Denali clan having gone quiet. Carlisle had been unable to get ahold of them to discuss Laurent. Alice – before the werewolves decided to get involved – didn't seem concerned. The Cullen family felt confident their cousin clan would never turn on them. Alice figured it was merely a problem of them realizing Laurent's betrayal and working it out among themselves how to deal with him.</p><p>I prayed they were right.</p><p>I yawned involuntarily – Edward's arm instantly tightened around me, becoming more of a cradle.</p><p>"I'm good," I argued trying, and failing, to stand up straight.</p><p>Edward chuckled. "I would advise against you staying awake until the fight. You'll need to be as alert and conscious as possible."</p><p>"Why? Do we know what we're doing with me now?" I asked, craning my head to look up at him.</p><p>He nodded. "I believe the plan Sam is mulling over currently is best. I was never going to allow you to stand in the middle of the field while the fight rages on around you as Jasper recommended – it's simply too dangerous. Reckless. Instead, we'll take you up there," Edward indicated with his chin to a rock outcropping that overlooked the clearing, "…and make camp. I don't like missing the fight, but victory is all but certain, and it would keep you well out of Victoria's grasp. Though not too far that I couldn't join the fight should something go wrong."</p><p>I released a shaky breath. I didn't like it, being tucked away so uselessly, but I felt better that Edward would be with me.</p><p>"So," Edward ran the back of his fingers softly across my nose, "Sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time to pretend to go to school. I assume you'd prefer to hide out at my home than attend class tomorrow?"</p><p>I bobbed my head and almost nodded off right then and there. "You assumed right. I guess I should sleep some…"</p><p>Edward lifted me onto his back and I was out before I could recall being lowered from his back.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>"I'm no good for you, Bella."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My world is not for you," he said grimly.</em>
</p><p><em>"What happened with Jasper</em> <em>–</em> <em>that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"</em></p><p>
  <em>"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."</em>
</p><p><em>"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay</em> <em>–</em> <em>"</em></p><p>
  <em>"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.</em>
</p><p><em>"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me</em> <em>–</em> <em>somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you</em> <em>–</em> <em>it's yours already!"</em></p><p><em>He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder</em> <em>–</em> <em>like the liquid gold had frozen solid.</em></p><p>
  <em>"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.</em>
</p><p><em>"You</em> <em>…</em> <em>don't</em> <em>…</em> <em>want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.</em></p><p>
  <em>"No."</em>
</p><p>I woke up gasping, crying, the hole in my chest flaring back to life. I was faintly aware that I was in Edward's golden bed, having moved here after I pretended to go to school and promptly fell back asleep.</p><p>"Bella? Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked frantically, rolling over on his side to better enclose me in his arms.</p><p>I clung to his shirt, sobbing, unable to control the building hysteria. "You…you left me…said you didn't want me…"</p><p>Edward tensed under my hands, and whispered in a strangled voice, "Bella–"</p><p>Then, in a total 180, Edward was moving, his hands roaming over my body, through my hair, his lips over my face and neck... "Alice's vision was only that, a vision. A distant possibility. I only would have said that to protect you, to get you to allow me to leave. I would never have meant it. <em>Never</em>."</p><p>The nightmare was almost completely faded, but the memory of the abandonment remained strong. The light of my life being abruptly and thoroughly snuffed out is what fed this hole in the first place.</p><p>In my weakness, I reached up and pressed my lips to Edward's, desperate to fill the gaping chasm.</p><p>Edward was immediately responsive, one hand cupping my head, tangling in my hair, while his other pulled me flush against him.</p><p>He traced my lips with his tongue before parting them and claiming my mouth possessively. I welcomed it, goosebumps running along my spine as his tongue curled with mine.</p><p>I was being devoured. I could feel the hole closing. I may have welcomed his kiss a little too much because, unthinkingly, my own tongue darted into his mouth.</p><p>
  <em>Oh!</em>
</p><p>The taste was incredible, honey sweet. Edward quickly pulled back swiftly, staring at me wide-eyed as we recovered our breaths.</p><p>"You're getting addicted to these dangerous stunts, I worry," he said, sounding only mildly disapproving.</p><p>I smiled sheepishly. "I feel better though."</p><p>"Truly?" Edward asked full of hope.</p><p>I sat up and turned my shoulder to him. I couldn't look at his eyes for this, I would surely succumb again. "Yes. But…we still need to talk."</p><p>I heard Edward also sit up. "You have my full attention."</p><p>I sucked in a steadying breath. "I think it's obvious from my reaction just now that I'm hurt by what you would have done had things gone different on my birthday. I don't think I can really explain to you how much though. It's as if a hole has formed in my chest, and there's nothing I can do to close it. I just feel so <em>sure</em> you're going to leave the next chance you get. And although that throw my whole world on its head, it also makes me <em>angry</em>. It's the same kind of anger that drove me away from my birthday that night. What caused me to break up with you."</p><p>I felt Edward's weight lift from the bed behind me and in a blink he was in front of me on his knees, taking both of my hands in his, his eyes attempting to find mine.</p><p>I kept my attention pointedly fixed on one of the bedposts.</p><p>"I love you Bella," he whispered fervently, "I know my actions – in this reality and others – have caused you to question that. It is inexcusable, so I am prepared to spend the rest of my days making it up to you. Is there any way you can forgive me?"</p><p>I faltered, stealing a glance at his face. His topaz eyes were so full of love, tenderness, and genuine fear that I had to look away.</p><p>"You know what I need to believe that," I said with a sigh, already defeated. "And I know that you feel you can't take away my soul. So that brings me to my next point."</p><p>Edward's hands gripped mine tighter.</p><p>I closed my eyes as I continued, afraid to peek at him again, "I told you before when we broke up that I can't keep going on like this. I meant it. I've been thinking it over, and I've realized that as much as I love you, I do still value myself. My own sanity, at least."</p><p>I pulled my hands from his and stood up, eyes on the door, "Meaning that this is it. You can't make me any of the promises I need, and I can't go on living in fear of your abandonment. I also have no desire to remain human, becoming old enough to pass as your grandmother. So, Edward, I love you so much that my heart cannot even contain it, but after this battle with Victoria, I need you to stay away. We need to go our separate ways."</p><p>I touched the doorknob, breathing in and out in shallow gasps, trying to find the steel resolve to make it to Alice's bedroom. I could fall a part in her arms until the battle. I could manage that small baby step.</p><p>
  <em>Just extend your fingers around the knob…Yes just like that, good, now-…</em>
</p><p>My hand was ripped away from the knob – my little victory stolen – as I was flung back onto the bed.</p><p>I gawked up at Edward, in disbelief that he could be so stubborn that he wouldn't let me walk away, but the protest died on my lips as I saw the predator in him come alive. He crawled over me, his lips pulled back from his teeth, a low growl emanating from his throat.</p><p>His eyes though – those were still Edward's. They might have been producing tears now if they still had the ability to do so. The anguish on his face was so evident.</p><p>"You win," he purred between growls. "I will change you. I won't – I <em>can't</em> lose you." He lowered his exposed teeth to my neck, the venom dripping wetly onto my skin. "Are you ready, love?"</p><p>My head swirled. My heart pounded erratically against my ribs. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't.</p><p>
  <em>He really…he finally said it. We can have eternity together!</em>
</p><p>Several minutes passed as I came to terms with my new reality. Finally, I replied, "Do you still love me?"</p><p>His laugh shocked me. It was the last reaction I expected.</p><p>He moved his face over mine, his expression much more at ease, more human. "Do you not see that I finally relented to change you because I love you too much? Selfishly so? Alice's vision proved I can't live without you. I would still like to try, but not at the expense of losing you before getting to spend a lifetime together."</p><p>I sniffed, letting the tears pool freely now in the corner of my eyes. These were happy tears. "Thank you, Edward," I placed the lightest of kisses on his lower lip, "I'm not ready to be changed just yet, we need to make preparations for Charlie and Renee. Maybe after graduation? We can discuss it later. Just…thank you. I love you too."</p><p>I placed another chaste kiss on his cheek, and when I pulled back, I found Edward's eyes burning with a dark intensity. There was no mistaking what he wanted.</p><p>
  <em>Me.</em>
</p><p>My body instantly reacted, growing warm, feverishly hot.</p><p>Edward's hand came between us and suddenly there was ripping sounds – by the time I looked down every shred of clothing had been removed from my body, underwear included.</p><p>I reached out for Edward, but he ducked down, moving to lift one of my feet to his lips. He placed a kiss on the side of my ankle, then my calf, slowing moving up. I almost choked on my own breath when he reached the apex of my legs.</p><p>I could feel his smile against my too hot skin. "Your breaking up with me does something to my senses, Bella. Each time you've mentioned the phrase I've become overwhelmed with the desperate need to claim you."</p><p>His head lifted up some, his gaze capturing mine from his position between my legs. It was so erotic, just like so many of my daydreams, that I moaned at the sight. He moved his hands over my legs, up my thighs– then skipped past the place where I wanted them most to squeeze my breasts.</p><p>I moaned again, and his lips were open and wet on my breasts then, lavishing them with attention.</p><p>I tried to clamp my legs around him, but he kept them firmly open with both hands. I whimpered a protest, and his hands slid down, mercifully giving me what I wanted. His fingers worked together to part my folds, running up and down, pressing and teasing exactly as I needed, driving me to the brink.</p><p>Then, just as I felt I might finish with that alone, Edward dashed back down, his tongue joining his fingers.</p><p>My back arched off the bed so fast it felt like it could have snapped in two. The feeling was even more intense than anything we'd done before, his tongue with his fingers…it was too much!</p><p>The pleasure built and built until at last I screamed out in release – my world blurring into nothingness for a few brief, blessed moments.</p><p>This time though, to my utter astonishment, when I came back down I was still wanting. My core <em>throbbing</em>.</p><p>Edward rose from me heavy-lidded, his expression indicating he knew exactly what I was feeling.</p><p>"Bella…" His lips crashed into mine, his control clearly slipping. His tongue took my mouth forcefully – my taste lingering there – somehow not bothering me.</p><p>He pulled back, his voice much calmer than his expression, "Stop me at any point – don't let me hurt you, please."</p><p>I pursed my lips, not understanding what he meant until his clothes came flying off.</p><p>I gasped, not out of concern, but with unbridled excitement. I only got to admire Edward's fully exposed member briefly before he was taking my thighs and pulling them toward himself.</p><p>I could feel his cool tip at my entrance, wiggled my hips in anticipation, in desperate need.</p><p>"<em>My</em> Bella," he growled, his eyes wild as he plunged into me.</p><p>I squeaked, feeling a twinge of pain, but compared to the absolute pleasure of being fulfilled – and fulfilled with Edward no less – it was nothing. He moved slowly regardless, my small noise alerting him apparently.</p><p>I wished I could tell him it was all good, especially as his coolness almost instantly soothed the small burn, but I couldn't speak, only moan. So overcome with this finally happening.</p><p>By itself it felt amazing, but then Edward added his fingers again to my clit, and I was writhing on the bed. Now I truly felt like I might die, like my fluttering heart might give out.</p><p>I wanted more though. For it to never end. Edward picked up his pace, his hands tensing on my hips, his thumbs on my clit working overtime, and I was overcome all over again.</p><p>"Edward!" I cried, gripping his waist as his thrusts hit perfectly in time with his thumbs once, twice…</p><p>
  <em>Ah!</em>
</p><p>I crested screaming, the noise ripping out of my throat involuntarily. Heaven might not describe it – this was a whole other dimension of pleasure and ascension.</p><p>Edward's growl filled the room, my insides clenching around him, and he came right after, his hands flying out to grip the bedposts on either side of the bed.</p><p>The metal whined at Edward's grasp – I might have looked to see the exact damage he caused, but I was too in awe at the unabashed pleasure that was crossing Edward's features.</p><p>
  <em>He really did want this, want me.</em>
</p><p>I could feel the hole in my chest not simply close, but evaporate. Like it had never been there in the first place.</p><p>When he came back to earth, Edward leaned over me and gave one of the sweetest kisses in recent memory. "I love you, Bella. Forever."</p><p>I grinned. "I know."</p><p>A little while later, after we were cleaned up and curled up together under the covers, I thought to ask, "Hey Edward, how can you kiss me with tongue now? I thought you didn't want to risk the venom and teeth."</p><p>Edward chuckled. "I was wondering when you would ask. After our first meeting in Biology, I visited the Denali clan and asked if it was possible to fully kiss a human. They have much experience with human-vampire relations, you see. Tanya ended up going into much more detail than requested…Not verbally, mind you, but I got the complete picture. I still didn't want to risk anything with you, but after your dissolution of our relationship, I felt I had to pull out all the stops."</p><p>I pouted. "So you would have denied me that pleasure if not for me breaking up with you? I should have done it sooner then– hey!" I yelped when Edward poked me in the ribs.</p><p>"Don't force me to punish you, now. You need to recoup some energy first," Edward said with a wink.</p><p>I giggled and snuggled closer to him. Despite Victoria's impending arrival, for the first time since the news broke, I felt at ease. Almost as if I knew it would all be alright.</p><p>
  <em>It has to be, I just had sex with Edward Cullen.</em>
</p><p>Just as I was contemplating propositioning Edward for round two, Edward murmured, "Bella, may I discuss a possible amendment to our deal?"</p><p>I narrowed my eyes up at him, instantly suspicious. "An amendment to changing me?"</p><p>He gave a tiny nod, then flashed his infamous crooked smile. "Remember I'm from a different era, this is a big deal to a 1918 gentleman like myself. I know it might not matter to you, but…"</p><p>"Edward, please," I sighed, frustrated. "Just tell me. What is it?"</p><p>I was annoyed to be opening the floor to changing me, but I felt it was fair to hear him out. He was already giving me everything I could ever ask for. I at least could try to return the favor.</p><p>His gold eyes turned soft, scorching even. He rolled to hover on top of me. "Isabella Swan, if I may humbly request before changing you into one of my kind, before binding you to myself for eternity, I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"</p><p>If I could remember how to breath, I might have gasped.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So close to the finish line! One more chapter and I'm calling it a complete fanfiction tale. If you ever want more stories out of me like this, please be sure to review and feed my little baby novice fanfiction spirit. Or you know, just anyways.</p><p>Also, full disclosure, I made sure to note why Edward is kissing Bella with tongue in response to a very wise reviewer who pointed it out. I had the reason in the back of my mind already, but thought "eh, it's fanfiction no one probably cares like I do" but turns out, some do care like I do! So I thought that should be rewarded. Little details like that are nice for maintaining suspension of disbelief, I agree.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Supermoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we are, the end, finally! Please enjoy, and please let me know if you do. I had a random worm in my ear that demanded I try fan fiction again (after 10 years), so I did, and only regretted it slightly. I do wish still though there was someone else out there writing this rather than me...so please offer me any and all suggestions you have of canon Twilight fan fiction! Sexy ones, preferably. ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Thank you, Sam. I'll be sure to pass it along," Edward said, responding to some thought of Sam Uley's wolf form.</p><p>I sighed as I leaned against a nearby tree, peering up into the cloudy, shapeless night sky. The pitch blackness of it was oddly comforting tonight.</p><p>Sam turned his large form to me, his dark eye appraising me with curiosity for a moment before trotting off to join the others in the field below.</p><p>He had carried me up here to the rock outcropping two hours earlier, using his apparently repulsive scent to mask mine. Edward hoped it would hide me from Victoria's army – an added layer of protection. I might have argued against it – as it was embarrassing – but I was so wretchedly glum, my reality so bleak now that I could barely raise a fuss as I climbed into Sam's waiting arms.</p><p>I sighed again, turning to the source, the cause of this melancholy – the outline of the small box in Edward's front jeans pocket was practically taunting. Cruelly standing between me and everything I could ever want.</p><p>I crossed my arms and turned my back to it, glaring into the forest ahead of me.</p><p>Cool lips caressed the outer shell of my left ear, "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before…"</p><p>I snorted. "Quoting Poe at me?"</p><p>Edward smiled brilliantly. "Your knowledge of 19th century literature continues to impress."</p><p>I skipped past the compliment, "Is this your way of calling me emo? Or are you just trying to annoy me into agreeing to marry you?"</p><p>He laughed – I resented how silky it sounded for the very first time. Edward was only making this harder.</p><p>Of course, I thought he was joking when he proposed, but when Edward's face registered serious hurt, I hurriedly tried to explain. This was a different era than his, getting married so young was beyond normal, everyone and their second cousin would assume we had either got knocked-up, or were genuinely that immature and stupid. And Renee, the cow she would lose when she heard! She had spent most of my life trying to advise me against this very thing – marrying young.</p><p>I hated that Edward had to shoot back that I was prioritizing what others' thought over his. That we were already committing to eternity together, what was one little human tradition? He then made it clear that marrying him was the one condition I had to follow in order for him to change me himself. Otherwise I would have to go and ask Carlisle.</p><p>I had nothing to say to that, so here we were half a day later, about four hours out from Victoria's arrival, neither other of us ceding any ground.</p><p>Edward's hands found my neck and throat and I moaned, feeling instant relief. I hadn't noticed how hot I had gotten until his ice-cold palms brought relief.</p><p>"It's unseasonably hot," Edward mused. "Alice says the temperature won't dip below 90 until sometime past 3:00 am."</p><p>"Ugh." I leaned more into him, willing the coolness of his chest to pierce through the back of my blouse.</p><p>He pulled away and sweat instantly beaded across my forehead. I missed the dry heat of Phoenix, this suffocating humidity-laden heat of the Pacific Northwest was a different beast. A twisted imitation.</p><p>"Why don't we get into the tent? I brought a battery-powered fan, as per Alice's suggestion," Edward said, a small smile curiously gracing his perfect lips.</p><p>I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious, but not sure of what. I followed him into the tent and sat down on the sleeping bag in front of the fan, feeling only fractionally better.</p><p>After a few frustratingly hot, sweaty minutes, Edward's arms and torso engulfed me from behind, again bringing welcome relief. I was so focused on this pleasant sensation that I realized too late that the cold arms around me were bare – just like the rest of Edward.</p><p>"E-Edward…?" I stuttered, stunned past coherency. Edward was totally naked, his clothes neatly folded behind him.</p><p>"Hm?" he murmured, tangling his legs with mine. The effect was twofold – now that Edward was thoroughly pretzeled around my body, the heat and sweat quickly evaporated, but a new heat started to pool in its place.</p><p>"Um…" I turned more towards him, looking into his eyes. They were light, pleasant, slightly amused orbs of honey-gold.</p><p>I frowned. "What are you doing?"</p><p>He chuckled and pressed a light kiss to my forehead. "Keeping you cool, was that not obvious? I am quite happy this cold body can finally be of service to you."</p><p>I tilted my head. "And you had to be <em>naked</em> to do that?"</p><p>He shrugged, the amusement dancing in his eyes. "It is the most effective method. Skin to skin, it applies the same as generating heat. Plus, I presumed you wouldn't mind my nakedness, considering this morning?"</p><p>"I don't, but…" I skimmed a finger across the hard planes of his chest and stomach. Edward leaned his head back, smiling, enjoying the feeling, yet keeping his hands perfectly in place on my shoulder and hip. He held me so innocently it reminded me of the way my mom used to hold me growing up.</p><p>I narrowed my eyes again. I had a feeling I knew what he was doing, so I decided to go straight for it. I slid my hand down and grabbed at Edward's growing erection.</p><p>"Oh!" Edward's head snapped up, but the amusement in his eyes never faltered. "Getting exploratory, are we?"</p><p>I ground down my teeth. "You– you're trying to get me to say yes with your body!" The accusation sounded ridiculous, but Edward's returning laugh only confirmed it.</p><p>"Bella," Edward said in his velvety tone, "Do what you want with me, I am more than consenting to your touch. I would just prefer saving intimacy for my fiancée."</p><p>"So you are!" I turned in his arms, crossing mine stubbornly.</p><p>He continued to hold me, keeping me from the heat. "I hope you understand that, while I do grasp the era we're in is different from the one I came from, I am still a gentleman of the early 20th century. I intended to wait until we were married, at the very least, before sleeping with you. With that out the window now, this is my next best chance at getting back on the wagon."</p><p>I scowled, my face burning. This was insane!</p><p>So I resisted, quiet, obstinate, letting his cool body do its job for the next hour. I focused on my anger and my fear of getting married at 18 as a means to stay distracted. It would be easier to weasel a way out of his stupid deal if he weren't so close and naked right now.</p><p>We eventually laid down, and it became harder to ignore the utter perfection intertwined around me. My eyes wandered, taking him in, <em>all</em> of him in for the first time. I pictured him from this morning, his hands on mine, him claiming me as he grabbed my hips and…</p><p>"Hey!" I blushed and glared unreasonably at Edward when I saw that he was aroused.</p><p>"Yes?" he asked casually.</p><p>I gestured to said arousal. "What's that about?"</p><p>He grinned. "So you're the only one allowed to fantasize?"</p><p>I blushed deeper, that part of me between my legs flaring with want. I was about to snap at him about something else when the idea struck.</p><p>
  <em>Ha! Let's see how he likes it.</em>
</p><p>I pushed at his chest, and he pulled back, watching me curiously as I moved to lean over him. He laid down underneath me willingly.</p><p>I smiled. "Edward, let's renegotiate."</p><p>Before he could ask, I took his member between both hands and squeezed as hard as I could. Pleasure exploded behind his eyes and his back arched familiarly. He groaned, long and deep.</p><p>I grinned. Maybe if I could get him to cave on not sleeping with me tonight, he'd cave on holding out on me until marriage.</p><p>
  <em>A good plan…Yes. Surely.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Edward Cullen</strong>
</p><p>Bella released some pressure on me and I inhaled in quickly, only aware then that I had forgotten to breath.</p><p>I smiled up at her, enjoying the picture of her above me and holding my most sensitive body part more than she could ever know.</p><p>"Renegotiate?" I asked lightly, betraying nothing of how I truly felt.</p><p>Bella's grin widened. "Yes, instead of sticking to your old-fashioned 1918 ideas, let's have sex <em>now</em> and get married much, much later. After we're both vampires."</p><p>My still heart might have fluttered if it still worked. On one hand I was relieved that she did want to marry me one day, but on the other I would really rather marry her while she was still human. The image of Charlie walking her down the aisle, surrounded by her human and vampire friends alike, was too pleasing to pass up.</p><p>I folded my arms behind my head, making myself comfortable, and replied, "I'm afraid I'll have to pass on your terms, love. But you can do what you'd like with my body."</p><p>The little stubborn v that formed in between her brows almost made me laugh aloud. I settled with a chuckle instead.</p><p>This spurned Bella to squeeze my member again and I gasped, thrown off guard momentarily by the intense feeling. Her hands were so warm, hot…it was everything I could ever wish for.</p><p>But I was the one here used to self-denial, self-discipline. Our whole time together had been spent denying myself of her on two fronts.</p><p>So I kept my arms folded behind my head and gave her a wink.</p><p>Bella shook her head, furious, and threw herself forward, her lips and mouth beginning to kiss and suck at my neck while she tightened her grip further.</p><p>The double sensation was welcome, clouding my head a bit with pleasure, but nothing I couldn't handle.</p><p>
  <em>Ah Bella, you are shockingly predictable when it comes to sex.</em>
</p><p>I may have underestimated her some, though, as she suddenly turned her eyes on me as she worked on my neck, her eyes studying me as she changed her grip on my member.</p><p>I had little confidence she would figure anything out tonight – then I was instantly proved wrong. Her thumb found the most sensitive part of my shaft, causing me to thrust involuntarily into her hand.</p><p>I felt Bella smirk before I saw it. She raised up and watched my face as she did it again, this time adding more pressure and increasing the pace of her up and down motion.</p><p>My mouth fell open in a pant, my arms loosened behind my head. The sensation was incredible, so new, so warm and – best of all – <em>Bella</em>.</p><p>Bella seized her opportunity, moving between my legs and repeating her actions more precisely, her eyes glued to my face. She switched to using one hand, freeing the other hand to run along my torso, then up and along my inner thighs.</p><p>It was too much, I moaned her name, quickly losing control.</p><p>
  <em>A fast learner, my Bella…</em>
</p><p>I could still hold on, I could simply let her make me cum this way – it wouldn't be so bad, despite how much my hands were twitching to roll her over and possess her again. To feel all of that tantalizing heat around me…</p><p>I shook my head, clearing it. A better idea occurred to me.</p><p>I reached up and, before she could register it, removed her blouse and bra. The sight was so beautiful I would have teared up in a more human body.</p><p>"Hey!" she leaned back on her heels, her arms coming around to hide her exposed breasts. "Edward! What the heck?"</p><p>I tilted my chin. "I'm sorry, I though you were putting on a show. I just wanted the full view."</p><p>She scowled and it seemed like she was considering redressing, both a sadness and exactly what I was intending. Instead, she dipped down her head and did the very last thing I could ever expect – take me into her mouth.</p><p>"Bella!" I yelled part in fear, part in absolute ecstasy. My hips jerked, yet thankfully Bella seemed to expect that and moved her head up in time to avoid any damage.</p><p>"Bella, I don't k-…" my protest died on my lips as she lowered her head again and her tongue replaced the work her thumb had previously done.</p><p>My arms flew out, away from her, and dug into the floor of the tent, piercing straight through the nylon and pulling up the grass below.</p><p>It was glorious. So much warmth. So wet. Every drop of venom coursing through my body concentrated to the place wrapped in her heat – I grew impossibly hard. I never wanted it to end. It was heaven on earth.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god.</em>
</p><p>I forced myself to be stone still as she worked, a normal working thought process evading me. I couldn't remember anymore if this was that I wanted or not.</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps…</em>
</p><p>The pressure was building, I felt very near cresting, to rolling her over and giving in, when Bella miraculously ripped away from me and threw her head across my chest.</p><p>She huffed, "Okay! You win. Put the damn thing on my finger!"</p><p>I was grateful for my mind's much faster ability to process than hers suddenly. In the space of three seconds, I calmed down enough to realize this was exactly what I wanted, despite wanting her to continue, and also not wanting her to continue as this tent was not the best for <em>that</em> kind of clean-up, then back to realizing what needed to be done now.</p><p>I moved in a blur, grabbing and retrieving the ring from my discarded pants pocket, kneeled down between her legs, and took her left hand in mine.</p><p>I looked into her deep chocolate brown eyes, wishing I could take away the anxiety I saw there. I did my best by leaning down and kissing her thoroughly, my tongue swiping across hers with joy and lust. When I pulled away, I was happy to see the anxiety had indeed dimmed.</p><p>"Bella," I said, flashing her my crooked smile as I held out the ring, "I love you."</p><p>She sighed, but her smile was genuine. "I love you too, Edward."</p><p>I slipped the ring onto her finger. My quiet heart swelled.</p><p>She looked into my eyes and gasped, I wished again I could read her mind and know what she saw there. Her lips were on mine then and I held only enough back not to break her, my tongue plunging into her mouth, my hands roaming over her body hungrily.</p><p>I forced her onto her back and did my very best to remove her shorts and underwear without ripping them off. I spread her legs and teased her clitoris long enough to get her as frenzied as I felt, unable to manage much else before pushing into her. I went slowly once there however, cupping her rear in both hands, wanting to relish the feeling, wanting to watch this time as I claimed her inch by inch. Bella's whimpers and cries for more were even better than my fantasies.</p><p>"Edward, please…" she pleaded, hands on my hips, using all her feeble strength to try to get me to push the rest of the way in.</p><p>I leaned forward, speaking so my lips moved over hers, "Tell me Bella, whose fiancée are you?"</p><p>"Yours!" she said through pants, then her eyes lit up and she added, "And I love it – I'm going to walk down the aisle to you one day soon and become your wife!"</p><p>I growled and thrust into her completely – she knew exactly what to say to get what she wanted. She cried out, her face blossoming with heat and pleasure, and I moved my hips as roughly as <em>humanly</em> possible. Still nowhere near how I wanted to, but that was only a matter of time now. I timed my thrusts with my thumb on her clit, and she was a goner, meeting my thrusts with her own and reaching her climax with a scream of my name.</p><p>I wanted to prolong it, but her clenching around me brought me under too – light exploded behind my eyes and that building pressure finally broke past the dam. I was soaring, the feeling so close to the feel of my heart exploding that I was grateful it could not do that anymore.</p><p>
  <em>Perfect.</em>
</p><p>We both breathed out heavily after, it was only as we were coming down that I realized I had ripped the sleeping bag underneath us to shreds, and most of the tent floor with it.</p><p>"Whoops," I said sheepishly, brushing a piece of loose sleeping bag stuffing from her forehead.</p><p>Bella giggled. "Better the sleeping bag than me."</p><p>The thought was sobering, but I was still too high to let it affect me much. I lay down beside her and pulled her to my chest, remaining inside, not wanting this moment to end quite yet. I rationed too that it was still hot, and I was quite cooling to her…</p><p>She traced a circle on my collarbone. "I guess my plan backfired some."</p><p>I laughed, the strength of it shaking us both. "Well <em>my</em> plan went off without a hitch."</p><p>She attempted to slap me in the ribs, but of course it felt like nothing but a gentle caress. I retaliated anyways my pinching one of her lovely butt cheeks.</p><p>She jumped and laughed – the most beautiful sound in existence.</p><p>
  <strong>Bella Swan</strong>
</p><p>It was only minutes now before Victoria and the newborns arrived. Edward and I stood near the edge of the rock outcropping, looking down at the clearing, him having a much better view than I did. It was so dark, and there were so many trees, I could make out at best some outlines of the Cullens and wolves.</p><p>His arms wrapped around me from behind, still providing me his air conditioner services. They were especially needed after our activities in the tent. Well – former tent. It was nothing but a mess of nylon and tent rods now.</p><p>
  <em>Oh well…heh.</em>
</p><p>I tried not to think of the heavy diamond on my hand and instead of the pleasant memories of making love with Edward. Much better than the impending doom coming for us.</p><p>"They're here," Edward whispered above my head, his gaze tilting down to the field below.</p><p>"How do kn–" My questioned was answered by loud snarls sounding from below, followed quickly by screams of terror.</p><p>I flinched, and Edward held me tighter. "It's going well, the wolves are surprisingly competent."</p><p>His eyes darted back and forth. "Yes…yes! Sam is a good leader. Took down two all on his own. Of course Emmett is having fun, Jasper too, though he's more intent on keeping Alice from the action. Not that the worry is founded at all, she's already led three right into the arms of Emmett and Carlisle…"</p><p>Edward's head abruptly whipped to the side and I was behind him in a blink, shielded.</p><p>"What is it Edward? What's happening?" I asked frantically, trying to see past him.</p><p>"Hello, Edward. Nice to see you again."</p><p>I froze. I recognized that voice.</p><p>"Laurent," Edward said through a growl. "You chose the losing side, I'm afraid."</p><p>Laurent laughed. "Oh, I don't think so. We figured you and the girl would be separated from the action."</p><p>I saw her then, the mess of bright, fiery red curls appeared beside Laurent. Even in the low light provided by the full moon peeking out of the clouds – a supermoon – Victoria's blood-red eyes were hard to miss. They bore into me impatient, ferocious, full of hatred.</p><p>I didn't like the suggestion in Laurent's statement – Edward was outnumbered.</p><p>"What did you hope to achieve? You know there will be no going back now to the Denali, to Irina." If Edward was worried about being outnumbered, his tone didn't show it.</p><p>Laurent laughed. "Ah, Irina is lovely, but <em>so</em> committed to the human-less lifestyle. It is most painfully boring, I have to admit. Besides I missed Victoria, she is fun, is she not?"</p><p>I noticed that as he spoke he and Victoria moved just an inch closer, then another. Both trying to flank Edward on either side.</p><p>
  <em>There's no way we're going to survive this. None.</em>
</p><p>My heart stuttered wildly in my chest, breaking, grieving already.</p><p>
  <em>At least we got to be together in the end – in every way possible. I'm grateful for that.</em>
</p><p>Edward moved, moving me with him, keeping me shielded more from Victoria than Laurent.</p><p>They continued to close in, their confidence and arrogance starting to show as their shoulders straightened – they anticipated this to be over quickly and easily.</p><p>I did too, to be fair.</p><p>Then – in a blinding blur of yellow-gold – Laurent was gone, nothing but empty air residing where he once stood.</p><p>I gaped, my mind not comprehending, and it didn't have to as Victoria was now mid-air, lunging straight for me, so close I could see the venom dripping from her teeth.</p><p>I heard Edward chuckle and he was gone now too, yanking Victoria out of the air and slamming her to the ground, causing the stone under her to crack with the force.</p><p>Air noisily left her lungs, and she staggered back to her feet only for Edward to greet her, his lips at her throat – it could have been mistaken for a kiss.</p><p>And that was that – her head was removed from her shoulders, her arms separated from her torso. The leftover pieces of Victoria slumped to the ground.</p><p>I stood where I was, frozen in place, the events in front of me not quite catching up with my brain yet.</p><p>Edward read my face, and very cautiously held up his arms. "Bella…Bella it's alright, the danger has passed. I am not going to hurt you."</p><p>I blinked at him, confused. "Uh, I know Edward. Why are you talking to me like that?"</p><p>He blinked now. "Aren't you afraid?"</p><p>"Yes, but not of you! Where's Laurent?"</p><p>He frowned, and moved closer, slowly taking my hands. "The Denali sisters are dealing with him. They came as soon as they realized Laurent's plan, apparently. I sensed their thoughts not long after Victoria's and Laurent's arrival."</p><p>I breathed in, reality finally sinking in.</p><p>"What are they going to do with Laur–"</p><p>The scream I head not even 100 yards away kind of answered that question.</p><p>I nodded, feeling immensely better.</p><p>I wrapped my arms around Edward and that's how we stayed for who knows how long, both of our breathing taking time to even out.</p><p>"I guess there's only one more mortal danger to worry about now," I said into Edward's shirt. Edward wrenched me back, his eyes filled with panic. I laughed and raised my left ring finger. "Telling Charlie about this – it's a good thing your bulletproof."</p><p>Edward laughed too, relieved, and I honestly couldn't fathom a more pleasant sound in the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And scene! I hope you enjoyed as I basically demanded at the beginning. Please be sure to review and pet my ego ;P I have enjoyed all reviews and comments so far, they really are heart-warming. Good luck fan fiction hunting out there!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not plan for this to be a very long story, just enough to work out this imagined scenario, but let me know if there's anything you're hoping to see. I could surely make some things work (I like in-canon stuff though, so nothing too off the beaten track). I also feed off of reviews, so please and thank you for those!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>